Lost Sight, Found Strength

The path is so dark and dim, but Julie keeps walking. She is scared, yet her adrenaline makes her look back several times, urging her to walk faster with each step. She wonders why she can't move faster and then realizes it's just her thoughts getting wilder the longer she's on the road. She shouldn't have chosen this path—terrified and confused. She's already halfway through. It sucks. The only way is to adapt, over time. She has one more block, two more, and again she convinces herself it's just one more step to her destination. She's no longer afraid when she starts looking at the sky instead of the road. The evening feels scarier when it's right in front of our eyes, but when it's above, the stars are beautiful. The cold air on her skin feels warmer as her mind grows calmer. Gently, she realizes that she's no longer worried. In fact, she's arrived, in no time. -- I think loneliness comes from the mind. It's not about being surrounded ...
Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Drameleon: Dive in Time

Living around the Royals and politic are not really fun. As the Second son of Baron, literally I have to work hard to earn my place at the King’s court. For example, I would do anything for my brother and let him be my greatest friend in the world. It was fucking hard at first. I almost got poisoned, almost got killed on the street, and even so he could surivived at war, I was there thrown my own body for any daggers or sword who coming at him. Luckily, he bought all that and like a spoiled son, he introduced me to most of Lords he knows. I earned some ranks on miliatry and politic, somehow I becoming favourite. My brother, which always be my insurance, whatever things he done embarrased even, I have to stand for him. Somehow, it effects me on judge anything or to do anything at the Palace, for what I am done would effect my brother’s presence.
King Highness Alexander recognized me when we fought together at Roxan War. I never talked or do anything with King Highness so far but we both just fought side by side while me protecting unconscious my brother’s body and his back. I think he never forget that. He always put me on his dinner or ball guest list. I just always accompanied or sat by my brother’s side. I am no good talker. My brother, is a great politician. Jameson Claude, First Baron of Claude. I use to call him, Jimmy. Jimmy has a big head, that’s why at the war field, he’s such a nicest target. King Highness loves to talk with him because they both have same personal taste.
Women.
Jimmy never marry. He said our father’s is too precious to be shared or spend half with a strange lady. He wishes me to get marry but with his permission. And, The King Highness permission. Sadly, all the women are not looking for me, they are looking for them. It becomes a habit for me giving quiet unique several answers of rejecting their proposals. Probably because maybe I also agree with Jimmy’s perspective about our father’s money. Because so far, we’ve been rich as free as we want it. Maybe, I am becoming a scrooge, I must admit.
I have been through a lot since our father died when Jimmy was 18 years old and I 10 years old. I did not know that as a Baron needs more money, more expense to live among the royals. Jimmy is a kind person but he’s being rich too young and he spend all to feast, inviting all his friends most of the nights. Then when he’s sober he gets angry with all the bills. Thankfully we have great nanny, Peggy. She came from our mother’s family. She nurtured our mother, too. She only knows two things: how to fix our meals and how to spend the budget wisely. She made sure there always be something to eat at the table. I mostly decided to feel hungry along with her, a while ago, when she tried to let Jimmy thought we still have enough food at the table. Funny thing she has said but it’s enlighten me,
   “I am still a sack of fat, you see here, my little Baron. Not eating a day or two won’t kill me until you seen all these fat gone.”
Those words I always remember when I was hungry at the war field. Else, I put the same thought about the money. I start by affectionate my uncle, Lord Mersham, he was expecting to be courtier around the monarch but somehow his status wasn’t enough to be invited. I was around 13 years old and considering I asked him to accompany my brother whenever he is riding his cart to the Palace. He found his way. Then, I influenced Jimmy to let our uncle to be the Financial Secretary of our family. Our uncle loves to be an important person around important people. All I need is asking him gently.
Even with helping our family name get stronger hardly can increase our wealth. It is all because Jimmy’s expenses is too much. But, along with me, Peggy, and Uncle Mersham, we rule the house of Claude. But, not until the 30th birthday of mine. King Highness for the first time congratulated me. He announced me in front of the court evening ball. Jimmy was part of this plan. They want me to get marry and pick any lady at the court at that time.
I was not ready. All these ladies are like wild cats, driving me crazy. They were all beautiful and I deliberately almost given up on all of them. I never been so happy, like probably that was how Jimmy’s felt days and nights while he’s drunk. It was just weird evening night, I wish something even ways more magical. Like I off guard this evening, jsut this evening night. Until, I saw her. She’s like a white rabbit. Jumping around the court, playing hide and seek with my sights. But, I wasn’t really paying attention since all the attentions that night were on me.
“I chose you.” Announced King Highness. Then the lady with white gown, it looks like some kind of matromony gown. “You are my woman, tonight.” He said again. She came front and held King Highness’s hand. She has the most beautiful black hair with absolute wonderful  white pearls embroided along her hair. Her skin are glittered and somehow her gown looks stunningly expensive. She looked at me while I was surrounded by all girls in town.
King Highness’s Queen is Henera Savre of Monk. She is a holy woman. She disgusted for all the evening wild party King Highness had so far. But at that time, she was there. She saw that gorgeous lady at the court. She walked right in front.
“And, who might be this gorgeous Lady of tonight’s name?”
“I am Alby.”
“Alby.”
“Yes, My Queen.”
It was the moment King Highness was so upset because he hardly can get out with the girl and Queen Henera showed her stand against the girl. If she does want to live another day, she has to back step. And, she did. Then, she looked at me again.
   “Perhaps, you seem curious about the birthay boy, tonight?”
   “Why does My Queen thought of it?”
   “Well, what else my Husband wishing you to be his woman tonight, if it’s not to be match with his best man of tonight at the same time?”
King Highnes calling me as I already came to them.
“King and Queen.” I bowed to them. Then, I just look at that beautiful star of the night, “Mademoissele,” I kissed her hand, basically her glove. I wonder how does she wearing the gloves? She only smiled.
   “Dance with her.” Said the King. Then they both walked to their thrones. The others made the lines on sides. We are on the center. And, even she looks the strangest beauty but she never wrong of steps while we dance. I am too drunk to fall in love. But I know she’s beauty. I am too drunk. I never been drunk. And after the dancing, it’s weird because as we finished, everyone’s clapping, we bowed to King and Queen, then King asked everyone’s dancing, while we stood side by side with King and Queen. And, she, never stops holing my right hand.
Then, I asked her, “What would you like to do?”
“Can I... dance again?”
“Of course.”
I accompanied her to the floor and I thought we were following the dance we’re dancing but she suddenly put both her arms on my shoulders and lean her head on my chest. She’s just moving slowly. I don’t know how to put my both arms. I don’t want to ruin her hair but I can hear she’s crying behind my chest. I wish I can comfort her head but then, all I can do is put my hands on her back. As everyone dance, we both just moving slowly and she cried on my shoulder.
“Why are you crying?” I whispered.
“This is the thing I really wish.” She then look at me with still wet on her cheeks. Her hands still on my shoulders.
“You are so beautiful, why are you sad?”
“I am sad because I am dreaming right now. And this dream is truly better than my reality.”
“What’s your reality?”
“...a broken vow.”
“Were you getting married?”
“This was my wedding gown.” She whispered.
“Who would do such thing to you?”
“You won’t know. Just comfort me, let me be at this beautiful moment for a while.”
“Of course,” I hold him more tighter. My logic was she just came straight here with her wedding gown and that’s truly sad. Whoever the groom, he deserved to be executed. How a beautiful woman like this be left on altar alone?
“Today is my birthday.”
“Happy birthday.”
“You are the best gift of tonight. You also part or my wish for tonight.”
“What did you wish?”
“As if tonight can not get any more magical. Then, I saw you.”
“I saw you, too. You seem curious about me.”
“And so were you.”
“I was.” She smiled.
“That’s better.” We stopped dancing because our borther, somehow came to us. Jimmy made that look and even he greetings with Alby, Jimmy made a straight look to the King Highness. When it comes to women they like, things went complicated. I am too drunk to furious because they put me on match and now I am about having a date, then strangely this happened, “But it seems like I am not really yours tonight.”
“What does it mean?”
“This is not my party. It’s his party. I am jsut guest and his men. Our purpose is following his command.” I kiss her hand one last time. Then I left her on the floor.
“Where do you go?” She shouted. But,t hen, Jimmy accompanied her. It happened just like before, they pick my woman. One of reason it’s hard to put marry on my agenda. I set myself never look back. That woman is theirs now. I am too drunk. Tonight is over. I got my wish, dancing with the beautiful woman like she’s an angel come down from heaven. I am going back to my father house. The Claude Residence needs its master tonight.



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