Lost Sight, Found Strength

The path is so dark and dim, but Julie keeps walking. She is scared, yet her adrenaline makes her look back several times, urging her to walk faster with each step. She wonders why she can't move faster and then realizes it's just her thoughts getting wilder the longer she's on the road. She shouldn't have chosen this path—terrified and confused. She's already halfway through. It sucks. The only way is to adapt, over time. She has one more block, two more, and again she convinces herself it's just one more step to her destination. She's no longer afraid when she starts looking at the sky instead of the road. The evening feels scarier when it's right in front of our eyes, but when it's above, the stars are beautiful. The cold air on her skin feels warmer as her mind grows calmer. Gently, she realizes that she's no longer worried. In fact, she's arrived, in no time. -- I think loneliness comes from the mind. It's not about being surrounded ...
Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Two Times

For a person like me, love just needs to be careful.
I hate to see people think I like the hard way to get such true love.
But, this world has showed me it's no longer there.
True love for me.
It's just a play of understanding, knowing, and then get along.
Nothing further.
No one told me it's my fault to keep that perspective too long.
Until, everything just passing by and keep going by.
And me, left behind.
Getting hurt and hurting back by mistake or on purpose.

Love supposed to be clumsy.
Love is not perfect.
I should've realized it.
Nothing can help me until I see that nothing is right when you fall in love.
Like when you thought you can love someone and wait for something in return.
Not just wait but to see if love is truly real.
Not just protection but real affection.
Not just one-sided.
It's hurting to learn it's only me who keeps acting I am not okay.
But when I fall or fail,
And, I can't be the one who needs to only understand.
After be a failure.
Bearing the consequences alone at the end.
Love is never there at all, isn't?

Nothing really telling me how to live happily.
No one really asked me what do I want.
They keep hitting me to the ground.
This is never been a life.
It's just living.

If I finally survive after the eclipse,
I wish I have my freedom
only to be mine.
But those have lost long ago.
Taken away.
By kindness hands the world given.
Time as the judge, cruel to me.
I have no one to put blame.
Because there is no one.
Nobody but the woman in the mirror.

I hate her so much.
I hate for deal with the demon.
The show is already over.
They closed the curtains and my ticket just wasted.

Begin a new life, every day, I tell myself.
Let's begin a new page, I tell myself.
Let's be a new person, I tell myself.
But seems the future yet uncertain, it has been ended.
Before I knew
Before I breathe for one more time.

Again, I will never get what I want.

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