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Showing posts from July, 2021

Reserve

As I sat on the sofa, I leaned against an invisible shoulder.  I walked quickly right toward him. He also came toward me, so quickly that we almost hit each other's heads. We both laughed. The obstacle was that I couldn’t see what was holding me back today. 'I shouldn’t have run toward you. If I had been a little faster, we could have ended up hitting each other,' he said. I didn’t say anything. I thought the funnier this meeting began, the better it would be. Yet, typical him, he just a mind-reader. I only smiled and replied, "Let's just go walk, now." yet I remained frozen in space and time, just me and emptiness. We're walking to the city park and just went around, nothing really far but our steps actually might count like a mile. Restless just with him. I simply sat in silence, lost in my thoughts. It's nothing like there's no other place we can be. It's just I found my complete and I don't need to find anywhere else. "If only our ...
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Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Are They Worth?

Those who go nameless. Those who will not be remembered. Those who never got an answer. Those who are suspended. Those who are imprisoned. Those who have no future. Those who are cowards. They are living mute witnesses.
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Beginning and Then

At first I just sat alone Then you sit with me At first I started copying Then you follow it At first my name was called Then you hide from me At first I admitted it Then you trick me At first I was ashamed of myself Then you laugh at me At first I returned to me chair Then you're gone without me
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What Cost Me

 I fell fast asleep. Then, I heard birds chirping. Slowly I opened my eyes. I still feel heavy. But I can see around me. He fell asleep in the chair right next to the bed. I kept holding his hand all night. He woke up. "...water." I say. He immediately helped me sit on the bed and he gave me a drink. I drank a lot of water. I smiled at him and he gave me another drink. I drank the water until it was gone. "Alright. Enough." "You're dehydrated. You need to drink a lot." "How do you know?" "I just know the doctor gave you a lot of medicine and you must be dehydrated. You need to drink a lot." "Good." He gave me another glass of water. I drank it all over again. "You drink it until it spills. Your lips are smudged...." he said.  His hand touched my lips.  We didn't know what we were doing. Our faces were so close, we unconsciously kissed. I laughed and immediately pushed him, "Enough." "No." ...
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Away from Me

The song starts playing. The dance began. I can't think of how this dance should be done. I just looked at him.  Tonight might just be like this. Maybe this affair will all end tonight. "You will leave me." I don't know why I said that when we danced. "Yes." He answered. "Take me with you." He looked at me. The dance was quite difficult. We turned around and changed partners. We just looked at each other from afar. Until he finally came back to me. "You are going to leave me." he said. "I'm not." "I am not yours." I know. I knew from the start, he didn't have to reveal it. We kept on dancing until I felt nauseous.  We parted again.  This time I was like a very strong dizziness. If I don't pull over, I might fall. I quickly pulled over and walked out of the dance hall. It's always like this. I walk alone at the hallway. "Where did you go?" He immediately picked me up.  "Let me go." I ...
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A Goodnight Sleep

When it's finally end of the evening, He accompanied me to my bedroom door. "Have a good night sleep or You will fall in front of the Queen." I fixed his collar . I kissed his cheek, before we parted. I entered my bedroom. I immediately walked to the dressing table. I took off all the jewels and hair clips.  Suddenly I saw a shadow's reflection in the mirror. I turned around.  He was standing behind me just by the door and somehow locked the door, slowly came to me.  He immediately lifted me onto the bed. He kissed me. "If you were tired, you should have told me." I didn't answer. I felt guilty to lie to him.  "Go to sleep. I won't bother you." He sleeps beside me and hugs me. I really fall in love with him. I woke up in the morning and he wasn't there anymore.  Am I dreaming? 
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Explain to Me

 I was with him all day and all he did was reply to the conversations I brought up.  "This whole ball exhausted me." The Old Lady bragged about her own ball party tonight in the Ritz. I'm just here as a niece trying to give the best smile because it's her party. And he always sits across from me. I sat there wanting to have it. I only wanted to try it once. Even though he can't be mine. "I must go back to my room tonight." I say to everyone. They let me out of the party. I found myself continuing to walk up the circular staircase leading to the Ritz lobby. Someone held my hand from behind. My gloved hands. Even though I only see his big hand that is grabbing mine, if only I take off my gloves when He could hold my hand. "What must I do if I can't be with you?" His whisper made me want to turn around, but I couldn't. My feet kept stepping down the stairs, carrying me away.  Then He held my hand. "What are you doing?" I wanted t...
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