Explain to Me

 I was with him all day and all he did was reply to the conversations I brought up. 

"This whole ball exhausted me." The Old Lady bragged about her own ball party tonight in the Ritz. I'm just here as a niece trying to give the best smile because it's her party.

And he always sits across from me. I sat there wanting to have it. I only wanted to try it once. Even though he can't be mine.

"I must go back to my room tonight." I say to everyone. They let me out of the party. I found myself continuing to walk up the circular staircase leading to the Ritz lobby.

Someone held my hand from behind. My gloved hands. Even though I only see his big hand that is grabbing mine, if only I take off my gloves when He could hold my hand.

"What must I do if I can't be with you?" His whisper made me want to turn around, but I couldn't. My feet kept stepping down the stairs, carrying me away. 

Then He held my hand.

"What are you doing?" I wanted to let go of my hand but he held on to it.

"I can not tell what you're feeling or thinking…can I?"

"Stop it."

"No... I can't."

"Why?"

Because I can't say true love. That love is long gone. Lost since the One I love was broken.

I think he saw my gaze right now. Then he whispered to me.

"What would you do?" He asked. 

I don't want to hear those words from him. 

Everything is like a magnet. I can't refuse because that's what I want all day. 

I want to be with him. Even if only once.

"This is what you want," He lead me. No one sees us.

No one knows.