Reserve

As I sat on the sofa, I leaned against an invisible shoulder.  I walked quickly right toward him. He also came toward me, so quickly that we almost hit each other's heads. We both laughed. The obstacle was that I couldn’t see what was holding me back today. 'I shouldn’t have run toward you. If I had been a little faster, we could have ended up hitting each other,' he said. I didn’t say anything. I thought the funnier this meeting began, the better it would be. Yet, typical him, he just a mind-reader. I only smiled and replied, "Let's just go walk, now." yet I remained frozen in space and time, just me and emptiness. We're walking to the city park and just went around, nothing really far but our steps actually might count like a mile. Restless just with him. I simply sat in silence, lost in my thoughts. It's nothing like there's no other place we can be. It's just I found my complete and I don't need to find anywhere else. "If only our ...
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Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

I leave it to you

If she reads this...

Are you happy?
I wish for my happiness every day.

Are you smiling?
I work so hard to put a smile on my face.

Are you thankful?
I have to keep saying it out loud until I do.

Are you among friends?
I don't have.

Are you having future?
I don't have.

I wish I didn't fool myself.
I wish I can wish something from the past.
I hurt myself.

I can't change.
I have no longer chance.
I thought I don't matter.
In this time or after this time.
I don't matter.

Before you remember me,
I wish I have already gone.
So, you don't need to be so sad.
When you turn your back to see me.
When I'm gone.

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