One Last Time

an idea: you are a bulletproof girl. Amanda Beth is a common girl, like many common girls. She's being loved by everyone and being hate by some people, too. Amanda is a high school girl with even lower average skills. We have to admit not everyone's smart and not everyone have to be good. So, Amanda gets into a genk, so tho she's stupid, she is saved, not being in bully around the school. She's one of the bully. But, that's not her. Whenever her bad friends are leaving her alone, she's trying to be friend with the bullied ones. She's helping the victims like in ninja ways. As I told you before, she's being loved by everyone, too, right? Amanda is helping them with spreading good things about them rather than against her own friends when the bullying's around. She's doing that for win-win solution and seriously, no ones really feel bad about it. Everyone needs her, but inside of Amanda, she thinks herself as a coward. who thinks
Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Wave Thrill

I missed him so much, it's like I really want him so bad that he's the only reason I keep going to walkthrough this life. I want him so much, to just be with him, in love with him for the rest of my life. 

I stood near the cliff, this sacred cliff with the sea wave so highly crashing them under. I felt at that moment if I fell, my life would end. And yet, it's just in my vision of the day, when actually I was swimming at public pool at hotel. 

When I out went out from the pool, I just drying myself with towel and with friends around me, I saw him with his friends, across the pool. When I saw him again even from far, I almost broke tears. This time, he's really looking at me. No one else. When I saw him, I knew he's there for me and my heart was throbbing. I am dying with the thrill and goosebumps on my skin. I missed him so much and he was there, as he knew I love him so much. 

I tried to hide, but it made me crying to look away from him. I was wet. I felt I look so bad in front of him. I did my best to not cry, but I felt so alone and he's there. Just to see me. I had to leave first, because I knew I never meant to be with him and they're going take him away from me. If I keep wanting him, it will break my heart. 

I am so much in love with him, I care about him and I just want him to stay by my side. The only thing I can do is keep afar. If I keep afar, it won't hurt both of us. Just to see him from far is fine by me. And, if I keep quiet, it'd be comfortable for him to run to the woman he loves.

I am... I am walking and keep walking and he's keep walking from far to see me and followed me. It's just at the end of this pool, we'd meet. And, we look each other again. I am scared to talk to him, I am scared because he's standing right in front of me. If I look away, even just a second, I knew he'd gone. 

I want him to stay. I want him to stay. I want him but I can't.

So, I am standing on the same cliff. This time, I jumped to the sea and the wave crashing me. I feel numb. I miss him again and not even this cliff and sea wave could washed it away. 

I only think of his eyes. The way he looking at me, so quiet. Like, he's really there for me. And, when I knew he's not really there, I am sure I can't live like this. So, I jumped.

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