Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Tears of Admirers: Bernard Grant, The Lover Confession

There was a room, with the lightning so bright. A desk and two chairs. A man with the boy who cried.

"Tell me your name."
"My name is Grant. Bernard Grant."
"Why you here?"
"I came here to let myself in, I killed someone."
"I'm sorry. You let yourself in and you kill someone?"
"Yes, she's my girlfriend."
"What's her name?"
"Bibien. Bibien Elle."
"When did you kill her?"
"About five hours ago, it's noon."
"Where is she, now?"
"As I said, she's on my truck."
"There's no one in your truck."
"I brought her body into the car, I stabbed her back, and the blood must be around."
"It's clean."
"Then, why, why my shirt was covered with blood?"
"It's not blood, Mr. Grant. They were all painting color of red."
"Let the doll in! Mr. Grant, is this what you saying Bibien Elle?"
"Oh my! Elle! Why you bring her body here?"
"It's not a human, Mr. Grant."
"She was!"

Caleb Moore was an investigator at the police station. Caleb found this big human-sized doll that being stabbed on the back of the truck and poured out some red painting color. Bernard Grant was really into much feeling when Caleb put that doll in to the room. It took times to put out the doll and let Bernard gets calm.

"Are you an artist, Mr. Grant?"
"Yes. A carpenter designer. I build houses."
"Mr. Grant, we've been investigate a murder case on this neighbor. And, we've been looking the murderer himself."
"I didn't do it."
"Do you know this girl, Mr. Grant?"
"It's the picture of Jessica Lee. She's a model."
"You know her?"
"We were high school classmates."
"When the last time you met her?"
"A month ago. She left the town."
"How do you know?"
"What, something happen to her?"
"We've been search several subjects of this town whom gone missing."
"She left the town for the reason."
"What reason?"
"I can't tell you."
"Consider this, you, Mr. Grant, could be the suspect that we've been looking for."
"I'm not!"
"Then, tell everything!"
"Jessica Lee was running away with a married man, Nathan High."
"Nathan High?"
"His photographer and his wife also followed another person, she moved from town immediately, too. That's all I know."

Caleb found the report and it was all true. Caleb came back to Bernard with the report documents.

"Why you stab the doll, Mr. Grant?"
"Is that how you call her?"
"No, no. That's her real name. Bibien Elle. And, I did stab her, I was, I never meant it."
"Calm down, Mr. Grant. Were you angry the time you stab her?"
"Well, yes. She kept turn back from me all of the nights. She didn't say anything. I was sick. I asked her what did I do wrong, and she never told me."
"We find this picture on her jeans pocket."
"Oh, a polaroid picture."
"Yes, it was taken this morning. Behind the window, of the cafe."
"Bill Chris cafe. It was the ground floor of our both apartment. Bibien must be came alone this morning, buy a coffee."
"Where do you live, Mr. Grant?"

Later, Bill Chris came to the police station. Bill Chris came to office desk of Caleb and he's being asked.

"Is he alright?"
"He's really in shock, Mr. Chris."
"What's happening?"
"Do you recognize this picture, Mr. Chris?"
"That's my cafe window."
"And, the date in the picture was this morning. Any thoughts of who might take the photograph?"
"It was Bernard. He recently came by and drink one drink of coffee, same order, recently. You can check our CCTV records."
"We will. How much do you know him, Mr. Chris?"
"Well, not a lot. He's on the way to get his Master degree of Economy subject at the local university."
"And how do you know him?"
"As I said, he recently came by, brought some books, my steward asked about his learning, and that's how I know."
"Where does he live?"
"I don't know. Is it suppose to be on the university dormitory?"

Caleb called the university dormitory and all of the personal records of Bernard. Then, a headmaster came with a young man. The headmaster left the young man for a while to take care some administrations. Caleb took Bill Chris with some cops out from the building, and Caleb found that young man alone. Caleb brought him to his office.

"I'm Ron Wenn. I was waiting for him all this morning at his dorm but he never showed up."
"Are you from out of town, Mr. Wenn?"
"Is this your first time came to the town?"
"No, of course not. But, I just knew Bernard not long time."
"Can I know what occasion you two are going to do?"
"Of course. We would like to visit our friend's wedding."
"Who's wedding?"
"French Elise and Sam Novell."
"Is it in this town?"
"Actually it's far a bit, near the lake. At Maire Lake."
"Maire Lake. Yes, is that a wedding of both superstars?"
"Yes. But, it's a private wedding."
"You didn't attend, anyway?"
"I called them and they also worried for where's Bernard gone. So, here I am, now."
"Mr. Wenn, do you know what's happening here?"
"Actually, no. That's what I'm really worry about, now."
"Mr. Bernard Grant came to our office and crying, asking to put him on a jail for killing a doll."
"Excuse me?"
"Yes, Mr. Wenn."
"What doll?"
"A big human-sized doll. And, he gave the doll a name. Bibien Elle."
"That, that sounds insane."
"He also lied about where his living. He said he lives on the apartment. This apartment."
"This is Bill Chris cafe."
"You knew?"
"Well, I used to drink here, too. It got famous coffee, you know?"
"So, you saw Bill Chris a while ago, you knew him?"
"Well, never talk with the man. I thought he got trouble."
"No, he's not. He also came for Bernard Grant. Mr. Grant came to the cafe this morning, took this polaroid picture. We're going to get the CCTV records to assure of it. But, Mr. Grant lied. He said it wasn't him, his dead-doll-girlfriend took the picture."
"I barely know him. I didn't know he has this issue."
"Well, I got some informations of yours. You are a producer, director, and has a well-known home production."
"Yes. Actually, I'm fine if you want to read some of my files with the police."
"Yes, Mr. Wenn, I also have read the reports of several things you did."
"Car-crashed, drunk, vandalize public stuffs."
"They were all ten years ago."
"Ah, yes. 2004."
"So, Mr. Wenn, how barely you know Mr. Grant, when you became his acquaintance?"
"Let's say a month ago?"
"A month ago?"
"Yes. His friend, Jessica Lee was ran away with friend of mine, Nathan High and his wife, Rei Samore, a writer on my home production, is with me, now. Last month, Rei moved out from this town to go with me in the city."
"So, when exactly you knew Mr. Grant?"
"That day, when both him and Rei found Jessica Lee and Nathan ran away from them."
"So, is it could be that Mr. Grant got broken heart from what Jessica Lee did to him?"
"I don't know. You mean if they were once before together? Maybe."

A headmaster came to the office to get Ron. The headmaster also barely knew Ron. It's because he found Ron had been waited Bernard all this day at his dormitory. A headmaster already called Bernard's family and they were on the way. Ron got a phone call for a while and he informed that French Elise and Sam Novell also will arrived. Caleb back to Bernard at the investigate room.

"What do you want me to do, Mr. Grant?"
"Arrest me, please."
"Do you believe if the doll is a human, Mr. Grant?"
"She's not a doll! You are all insanes! She's not a doll!"
"Then, explain your covered with paints!"
"I killed her and this is her blood! This is not paint!"
"Have you ever came to see a psychiatrist or doctor, Mr. Grant?"
"We found several things that you said are lies."
"I told you all trues!"
"Well, we found you're not living on this apartment but at the near local university dormitory."
"Well, yes, my address is there, but now I lived with Bibien at her apartment."
"So, you have apartment with your doll?"
"You don't believe me, aren't you? Here! 101, rooftop building."

Caleb was in shocked, the man gave him the room key. Caleb then visited the apartment. Caleb met the landlord and showed the key room. The landlord showed the way and Caleb got in to the rooftop building, Room 101.

"Bibien Elle, yes, she's really a nice woman. See, this is her picture with friends. Such great companion."
"Old man, is this really Bibien Elle?"

Caleb back to the police office and he found French Elise and Sam Novell, also Bernard's family has arrived. One by one was interrogated. Until, it's time for French Elise and Sam Novell.

"Mrs. Novell, do you recognize this young woman?"
"Bibien Elle, of course. Sam?"
"She was invited to our wedding but she never come."
"When this picture was captured?"
"We're on the set of Ron's movie! Actually this was our first time being photographed together. Me, French, Ron, and Bibien."
"When the day or week or year, exactly?"
"2004, of course. Isn't French?"
"Yes. This day was Bibien's birthday and the end day of production. 31 October, 2004."
"Mr. Ron Wenn said that both of you asked him to keep looking for Mr. Grant all day long. Can you both give me a reason of this concern?"
"We know him really barely, actually he's Bibien friend."
"Ex-boyfriend, Sam!"
"An ex-boyfriend, Mrs. Novell?"
"Yes, I knew Bibien because it's Sam good friend. And we both knew Bernard from Bibien."
"So, you both also talked with Bibien Elle?"
"May I know where is exactly Bibien Elle, now?"
"We don't know."
"As I said before, Mr. Moore, she never showed up at our wedding."
"Yes, Mr. Novell."

Caleb came back to Bernard.

"Do you believe me, now?"
"Mr. Grant. Do you know these pictures?"
"Bibien friends. Ron Wenn, French Elise, and Sam Novell."
"Have you met them?"
"Yes. I knew Ron a month ago, when Jessica left. He's the man who gone with Nathan High's wife. And, I was invited today to French Elise and Sam Novell's wedding. But, I wasn't come."
"Why, Mr. Grant?"
"Because I killed Bibien!"
"Tell  me truth, Mr. Grant. When the last time you saw Bibien Elle, the real Bibien Elle?"
"What, she's dead, for good sake!"
"The thing that you killed is not her!"

Caleb was angry to face with this lunatic person. Caleb also saw all of these people who waited for Bernard to be release. Caleb back to the office, the Head Officer came to Caleb office.

"Sir, we've been on this serial killer of missing women case. One of them is Jessica Lee and she's alive."
"Yes, I heard the report. Jessica Lee had been hiding from the press about her ran away thing."
"Sir, Bibien Elle might be the new victim of our case."
"Then, call her relatives."
"This man, he's insane. He stabbed the doll. He surrendered himself."
"Then, I must say, he needs a shrink?"
"It's his ex-girlfriend was missing, Sir."
"Then, help him find her. Or not, release him."

Caleb came back to Bernard with a new file.

"What is this?"
"Your CCTV records this morning at Bill Chris cafe."
"I took the picture?"
"It's not her, Mr. Grant. She never came to the cafe this morning. We also found the last time she came to the cafe. The same place where you sit, it was two weeks ago."
"We had a fight that night...and I was left her place for just one night. People said she never left the room. I also saw these records. It was morning, as ussual, she visited the cafe, sit and wrote something. She back to the apartment, got into the room and never left. I was arrived about the noon. I was sorry... I used the spare key, and..."
"What did you find, Mr. Grant?"
"I thought she was asleep on bed, but it wasn't her."

Caleb found Bernard had been living with the doll ever since Bibien Elle was just vanished from her own apartment. Caleb then released Bernard Grant and put him into the near local hospital for his breakdown condition. Caleb lets everyone be gone. That evening he decided to put Bibien Elle's picture on the board case.

Caleb came to Jessica Lee where abouts next morning. Nathan High was not at home.

"Bernard is different from any other friends of mine. He admires me before I become now. You know be another different, too."
"So, are you Miss Lee has the same attraction,too, to Mr. Grant?"
"I don't know. He made me to remember of the real me while Nathan, he knows how to see me both. People like me is just too mean for him."
"Miss Lee, when the last time you see Bibien Elle?"
"Bibien? Well, she's such a nice girl, isn't she? It's three days after me and Nathan gone. You know, she knew where to find me, exactly after she found Nathan."
"So, is she Nathan's colleague?"
"May I know what kind of relationship?"
"Me and Bernard are friends. We both met Nathan and Bibien at work. Nathan the photographer and she is the wife's assistant."
"What the last time chats between you and Bibien Elle, Miss Lee?"
"About French Elise and Sam Novell wedding."
"What about it?"
"She said she won't come."
"For what reason?"
"I don't know. Then, she kept talking about Bernard and Nathan's wife. She's kind of nun or something. Talking about my sins."
"She blamed you?"
"Of course. Didn't you?"
"Well, I just try to do my job, here, Miss."
"Do you want other else, meet Nathan?"
"Another officer will come for him. Asking things the same. May I know what time he will come?"
"Thank you for your time, Miss Lee."
"How's Bernard?"

Caleb was returned to the office. Bibien's relatives arrived. There were four of them. A father, a mother, and two older brothers. 

"When the last time you contact with her, Mrs. Elle?"
"Two weeks ago. She said she is going to borrow my dress. But, she never came to home. We tried to call her but none. Then, we called Bernard, he said she was fine. So, we thought..."
"Did you know about Bernard conditions before?"
"We barely know him. Bibien has many close friends. We didn't know it was him who closer tban others. Where is my daughter?"

Caleb also talked with Bibien's twins brothers.

"I am Pipp and he's Jiers."
"So, which one of you who knew first that Bernard is Bibien closest friend?"
"So, Jiers. How do you know?"
"Everyone knows Bernard is Bibien ex-boyfriend. But, it was obviously hard to tell if she would come back to him. But, then, I found the news of the model ran away with a married man? I knew Bibien will came to comfort him or something."
"Why you both doubt about Bernard?"
"Let's see, Mr. Officer. Jiers and I are good brothers for Bibien. There's no way Bibien will be with that awkward boy. A carpenter, of course. But, he is, you know."
"Pipp, there's also a news about both superstar who just got married. Bibien friends."
"Oh, my. Is that Sam Novell?"
"What so do you guys know about Mr. Novell?"
"Well, he's the only famous person who Bibien ever brought to home. That's all. He's married,now."
"Thanks for your time."

The last one was Bibien's father.

"They said Bernard stabbed the doll who looks  like my daughter. May I see it?"
"Sure, Mr. Elle. But first, have you any thoughts where she might be, now?"
"She used to be at her apartment. After we got phone call from Bernard we thought she's fine."
"What else?"
"She loves work. She always goes to work. Never take absents. Even if she sick."
"Thanks for your cooperation, Mr. Elle."

A father came to see Bibien doll and it was just a moment of heart-breaking. Two weeks Bibien had gone but no ones realized. The twins comforted their parents telling they have a brave daughter and she will be fine. One of twin looked at Caleb who across the hall way, he ran to the hospital, to see Bernard.

"How do you feel, Mr. Grant?"
"I feel nothing. A nurse gave me this or something."
"They said on your stage, now, you'll be great."
"Why you here, Officer?"
"Bibien Elle isn't dead, you knew right?"
"What do you want me to tell you? I even can't trust my own thoughts."
"Who else know if Bibien Elle came back to the room and never went out from apartment again?"
"The guard. He's helping me with CCTV records. There's something inside of me, Officer, that so easy to make a lie, a scene. Bibien helps get through with it, everytime, every single time. She helped me to get through that weekend, when Jessica went away. I always thought I could end up as alone. But, just right back at my own room, she's there. Waiting for me. She gave me hope."
"Then, you knew when it's a doll all along?"
"She wants me, she made me do it. Then, she started to cry, she said things I dislikes, she made me hate her."
"What did she told you?"
"She loves someone else. She never wants to hurt me, but still, she gave up on me for someone else."
"Who's the man?"
"I can't tell you. I won't tell you. Then, she just turned herself into that doll and I've already killed her."
"Mr. Grant."

Caleb jumped out from his sat. A doctor and nurses came to the room and comforted him. Bernard's family was there. It was hard to believe and Caleb felt sorry about it. He got a message for his next drop-in.

"Mr. Ron Wenn."
"Yes, Officer. What's the update?"
"You said it was an insane when I told you about Bernard Grant gave the doll that he stabbed as Bibien Elle."
"Yes. I never thought he's actually has that kind of issue. Or me will be friend with some kind of, you know. That thing. Is he has some kind of interest disorder?"
"So, is there no similar names that you know, I mean with this name, Bibien Elle?"
"No. Is there something wrong, Officer?"
"Then you must be forget about this picture."
"Wait, 2004. Oh, yeah, my first nominated movie. French and Sam first time together. And, do you mean, this girl?"
"Do you know her?"
"Of course. She's Rei Samore assistant. Rei was came to the set and she was there. One of my script writer just resigned and she put this girl on my team. I accepted. That's it. But, I never saw her again after this."
"Never again?"
"Yes. That was a rough year. I went to rehab until 2007. Then, I started again, alone. I met Rei again in 2010, it was a drama series. But, Rei dropped her work because of me. So, then I kept moving on. It's just this new year, I found Rei came to my place, and that's how we got together, again."
"Are you a keeper, Mr. Wenn?"
"Yes. I'm that guy."
"A witness said a month ago Bibien Elle came to her place and talking about how she supported Mrs. Samore side. I believe Mrs. Samore can be the only one who seeing Bibien Elle for the last time. I would like to meet her, Mr. Wenn."
"As you wish."

Caleb went to the restaurant, for lunch, with Ron Wenn and Rei Samore. It was on the sea shore side.

"This is wonderful, Ron. Thank you for the place. And, it's really nice to meet you, Mr. Moore."
"It's also very nice to meet you, Mrs. Samore."
"Well, where should I begin?"
"Is Bibien Elle still contact with you, Mrs. Samore?"
"Well, here's the truth Mr. Moore. Trust me, I never meant to do so, but I just did as she said. I was so broken when Nathan left me with this model. I was frustrated. I blamed everyone. I also blamed her. Then, she's the one who called Ron to pick me up from my house and went to the city with him. I kept crying and crying, then it just happened, she threw away my phone to the garbage. In front of Ron, I remembered."
"Is it true, Mr. Wenn?"
"Well, yes. But, I didn't know if that's the girl we're talking about. I always thought her name was something of Rei assistant. I'm sorry."
"Then, what happened, Mrs. Samore?"
"She said to me to get a new life. And fired her. From that on, she will no longer to see me ever again."
"Why would she do that?"
"I guess she also blamed herself, Mr. Moore. I was so awful that time and I tried to fix things, but Nathan never want it to be fix. So, things gone wrong. My hope was fading, and she helped me get through with it."
"So, after she put away your phone, and you gone with Mr. Wenn to the city, she never called you?"
"No. Then, I heard about her news last night from French Elise and Sam Novell. I was shocked. I hope I could help you with all I have."
"Do you know where she might gone besides her apartment place or her workplace?"
"She's really a good friend of French Elise and Sam Novell."
"Well, Mrs. Samore, do you know Mr. Bernard Grant?"
"Oh, yes. I was introduced to that model and Bibien being introduced to friend of her. That's all I know. She never talked about her private life at work. She's a workaholic. But, I heard from French that they might on a date two or three times. Seems really well, for me. I just have this thing about their relationship."
"What is it?"
"We're at noon. Still working, Bibien went to coffee break and she left her phone. There, the phone call rung. Five times, never stop. Seems pretty serious call, and it's from Sam Novell. But, I never bothered. It's just after she back and look at her phone. She called back and she just called Bernard."
"How did you know?"
"She lied. She said Bernard had called her five times."
"Why would she do that?"
"The most odd thing was when Bernard Grant really came to pick her up that night."
"Have you ever discuss it with Bibien Elle or Sam Novell?"
"Yeah, it was the weekend. I met Sam, then he asked about her. I just said that she might not having any interest on him. So, he laughed and that's all. The only thing that very odd."
"Have you heard about Bernard was the ex-boyfriend of Bibien Elle?"
"Sure. It was very weird for me. I heard that from French Elise, last night. I never know anything about Bernard Grant until last night. French also said that Bernard has the human-sized doll who looks like Bibien?"
"Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Wenn and Mrs. Samore."

Caleb was called that another local girl-dead-body had been found near Maire Lake. Caleb was on his speed to be arrived there, sooner. When he arrived, he knew he lost his faith that it wouldn't be Bibien Elle. Someone was already arrived, firstly. It was Sam Novell and his wife. Last night was their wedding. There's still the tend, they tried to pull down. They were standing near the body. The wife cried so hard embraced her husband arms. Caleb walked near to them, and he saw Sam's face, tears dropping. The most broken heart thing was the another car has arrived. A father, a mother, and the twins.  Caleb came to the body, and it's her. Bibien Elle.

"Is she suicide?", asked Sam Novell, "You said she could be one of the victim of the serial killer."

At this time, Caleb didn't know the answer.


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