Lost Sight, Found Strength

The path is so dark and dim, but Julie keeps walking. She is scared, yet her adrenaline makes her look back several times, urging her to walk faster with each step. She wonders why she can't move faster and then realizes it's just her thoughts getting wilder the longer she's on the road. She shouldn't have chosen this path—terrified and confused. She's already halfway through. It sucks. The only way is to adapt, over time. She has one more block, two more, and again she convinces herself it's just one more step to her destination. She's no longer afraid when she starts looking at the sky instead of the road. The evening feels scarier when it's right in front of our eyes, but when it's above, the stars are beautiful. The cold air on her skin feels warmer as her mind grows calmer. Gently, she realizes that she's no longer worried. In fact, she's arrived, in no time. -- I think loneliness comes from the mind. It's not about being surrounded ...
Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Vacation

He's there, looking at me.
Like, "You've changed so much and I don't think we're really have to be together."
So, it keeps spinning in my head if I should say hello to him or not.
Then, there's this dining outside the place.
I came out, there he is with his mother.
Me and my mother.
The worst moment ever.
I should've not do anything. But, I walk out anyway.
We look from far to one another, when our mothers chat whatever.
We're enemy, I know.
It's just too complicated place for vacation.
"Why you here?"
"You made me here."
"Yes. But, how am I suppose to do? You hate me so much."
"Why you keep calling me back?"
"I don't know, too! I need to think, a refreshing, be in my own head, my own thoughts."
"And, I'm there."
'You're the only originality of thoughts and existance."
"But, we can't be meet."
"Yes. And, this place is the only place where I can meeting you. Or, someone like you."
"Well, this place is better than the last one."
"The vacation place, without the horror. Because your mother is the horror itself."
"Our mothers."
"Why, why, why I can't move on from you?"
"I don't know."
"This place is like Avatar. The grounds, the silks, the greens, they're all glowing blue in the dark of night. Without moon's around."
"I told you this is the best place we really met. Never exist and no crowds."
"No. So many crowds around us."
"But, those shadows can only be around. It's just us. Our mothers."
"I hate you for hating me. What did I do wrong?"
"You're too ugly for me."
"I hope you can say that, for real."
"I know. I am sorry."
"Do you know why our mothers be here?"
"Why?"
"They are our commons."
"We both smart and public enemies. Also, we're cool enough to hang out with everyone."
"Yeah, that too. But, I don't have ambitions like you."
"That's one of your thing. Impulsive."
"I adore you so much. You're like perfection for me. You are the toxic."
"I am the toxic. You are my inspiration. You full of freedoms and friends. Things that I don't have."
"Friends don't last forever. Memories do. Like, right now."
"So, you envy with my mother, that's how you remembering her and put her here, too?"
"I bring my mother. They both look so powerful in each of our life. We love them so much, we want to make the right thing for them."
"She's the only reason."
"I know. I knew everything about you. Someone made me know you better."
"I don't care about you, you know that?"
"I try, but I can't. I can see the whole imperfections and I want to be truth."
"You can't be true to the world. The world will takes advantages from you if you're telling so many truths."
"I keep give them the truths what they deserve."
"Clever girl."
"Yet, I feel bad. Like all these feelings and worries, like I already lost you, thinking I would never find someone like you ever again. Then, there's him."
"Oh, him."
"Yes. In this place, he's so different from you. He's full of love of me. Hug me, touch me, and even let go of me because I still want you. I want you. But, I don't know if I can love you."
"You don't know anything about love."
"I don't."
"Our mothers teach us about love."
"Yes."
"That's why you brought them, here. Here's the vacation place that suppose to be you and me."
"I don't know anything about love."
"And, he teaches you, doesn't he?"
"That's why I always like when he's here. Sometimes, other people I never met do better than him."
"I hope it's not different me."
"But I hope it's you. You are the only man that never hate me but decided to let go of me. Do you know what have you done to me?"
"What?"
"I made those things happen to all of people that love me ever since you left. I don't know, I just want to draw what is it with you, how's your feeling after you left me. I want to know but I can't."
"Because I never want to look back at you."
"Yes! I am curious and that's why, that's why now, I do all of those things to people who love and adore me."
"You made yourself in the hard situation, baby. You hurt yourself."
"Because I'm suppose to be a good person."
"You still are."
"Everything seems not perfect for me."
"I keep doing all wrongs. Yet, I made it."
"Ambition."
"That's the answer, baby."
"Look, our mothers. Look their eyes. Like wolves and so cruel."
"Maybe because I'm a man and that I'm prior than my mother."
"What about me?"
"You locked at your tower."
"Yes."
"It's nice to meet you here. This place is wonderful."
"It's almost sunset and that's the time I finally remembering this place. Remembering you talk very nice to me."
"You're welcome."
"It's getting cold out here."
"You should go inside. You always the first one who run away from me."
"Yes. Looking our mothers are here, losing my vacation mood."
"Go away. I don't like you be here."

Always. That's him, at the end of my dream. Keep hurting me.

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