Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Sensing

Taylor told me about this. About him.
It should be like this. Always.
Same environment. Same thought.

Taylor told me something like this.
"He's sitting always in the corner.
Near the walking out of doorway."
I know. I always see him that, too.
I feel lucky. I feel safe. Every day.

Taylor told me about the windows.
He's asking a lot about them.
It's just one old window.
Over here. Over there. Over here.
The wind cracks and make noises.

Taylor told me to wait for moment.
I can not. My head is trembling.
They all come and by, come and by.
Laugh then mad then back to joke.
Society on the loops.

Taylor told me how the way he look.
Someone like I know.
Of course, I told him.
If not, I wouldn't bother.

Taylor told me he knows.
Of course, because I was obvious.
Staring at him, dragging him.
Wondering, Questioning, Hurting.
Can I trust him?

Taylor told something about me.
I'm stink. Predictable and stink.
No matter how hard I try, it won't go.
It's inside of me and I give up on it.
Same as all of you. You all stink.

Taylor said it probably the reason.
For me, it probably the reason, too.
I'm pretending, I'm predictable, I'm stink.
No ones like that.

Taylor said I should just try.
He said it won't stop until I make moves.
"What if he doesn't like me?"
I did it anyway.

Taylor walked through him first.
Then, I started to move from class.
Went to corner I never been.
Talk to friends I never with.
And he sensed me.

He encouraged me to come near.
I know this class was his jail.
A biology lab. A prison.
What should I change from it?
Ah, the lab accident. Smoke alarm.

We all ran outside the room.
Everyone is passing him.
He's in doorway, he could just walk out.
He could just stand up from the chair.
The chair in the doorway.

But we all knew our own intentions.
To live. To die. Or, to enjoy.
Maybe he's there to acknowledge.
Of my intention.
My intention is to approach him.

I said to him for the first time,
"Let's go."
And he looked at me.
And he followed.

Then things became so predictable.
And it stinks.
Outside his jail, a big jail was waiting.
My jail, my own, my world.
He was there and following.
Same as others. Same as Taylor.

We run and laugh. Love and drunk.
We scream and jump. Find another plan.
Now he knows me.
Same as Taylor.
What will he do, then?

It doesn't matter.
I'm not doing it anymore.
Taylor gave me the glasses.
I always fond of.
We're on the vehicles.
And suddenly, the glasses fell.

He saw me for the last time.
He knew about the glasses.
And, I know I want him.
At least a little longer.
But, it was middle of night.
Tomorrow there will be an exam.
I can't leave my glasses behind.

I jump from the vehicles.
He saw me.
The vehicles kept running.
I finally grabbed the glasses.
The lenses are broken.

He already gone.
I'm walking on this night road, alone.
I told Taylor.
I don't want this anymore.
Now I force myself, end at glasses shop.

"What can I help you, Miss?"
"I need to fix this."
"In the middle of the night?"
"I have to, for tomorrow."
"Where do you live, Miss?"
"You knew."
"But there's shop there, better."

Maybe he wonder why would I jump.
I should had known glasses broken anyway.
So, I told him,
"I used to eat porridge near this street.
I'm very fond of this street.
That's why I always end up here.
That's why I lost and end up here.
This street came to me.
It always find me."








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