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Showing posts from March, 2022

Reserve

As I sat on the sofa, I leaned against an invisible shoulder.  I walked quickly right toward him. He also came toward me, so quickly that we almost hit each other's heads. We both laughed. The obstacle was that I couldn’t see what was holding me back today. 'I shouldn’t have run toward you. If I had been a little faster, we could have ended up hitting each other,' he said. I didn’t say anything. I thought the funnier this meeting began, the better it would be. Yet, typical him, he just a mind-reader. I only smiled and replied, "Let's just go walk, now." yet I remained frozen in space and time, just me and emptiness. We're walking to the city park and just went around, nothing really far but our steps actually might count like a mile. Restless just with him. I simply sat in silence, lost in my thoughts. It's nothing like there's no other place we can be. It's just I found my complete and I don't need to find anywhere else. "If only our ...
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Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

am I too Mean?

Sometimes I can't go no longer It hurts me more I used to have this dream Yet, the dream walk away from me As I keep chasing it The chasing we through the storm Fall and rise, push and pull Now I lost to the void I know You didn't know I wonder if You think I became cruel tonight I shall bid You good night but I am not.  I don't know what I do, now. I can't see the world be so empty When there's You The dream I wanted long ago I see in You And somehow the happiness never meant for me But the pleasure I get To finally see You have the strength If it is requires me to not in the future Then let is shall be To be in the now and knowing You See love surrounded for You I have my pleasure. I shall bid You be happy, now I shall teach You go on without me As everyone does To finally leave me and let me enjoy myself Alone, yes As I meant to be The world for me Not for You For You, I will give the stars To light You way To the future I meant not to be there Now, am I mean to ...
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White Suit

It was simply a dinner together. I laughed a lot. When we were together on the table, we shared lots of things. I wish I didn't wake up. The more I spent my time,the more I learned of myself towards him. Because I knew it's just too lucky to be there with him, I made myself never doubted him. Always there to make him smile. Because I love him. My sister was there. She really enjoyed the moment but simply protected me. I don't know what's in my head but all men are the same. They're bad in their own ways but always have their own manners or rules to play the game. And, it seems he sort of that kind of man in my dream.  It's like he has this secret that horrifying and I saw it a bit in my dream. Like it was a hint of dark world yet he held it back it off because he didn't want to spoil my dream. Funny thing, the way I always tried to connect with him the same I did on my dream. I couldn't stop spoil him. He's just really understand how to interact with...
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,right?

I just need one thing. Help me. But you're not.  Even if tears hurt me so much. Help me. You're not. I don't know how do I still love you. Help me. You're not. Maybe I don't really believe in. Help me. You're not.
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today's illness

The cold is my weakness. Even though I had sunbathing for a whole day but when the night comes, it's like my body couldn't take it . It hurts my head and my stomach. I feel like want to give up this fight. It's too hard for me. I tried to hold on everything but seems like I made people lots of worries.
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Today's Illness

 This is my first time to get really hurt all over my body. I think it's getting really hurt, this time.  It makes me want to write more. I am hiding from my pain, right now. I don't know when it comes back so I'm writing this, now.  It feels like I can't control my head. It's like my head knows it's really painful and it wants to sleep.  And, I almost fell in front of the house but I arrived safely, right on time. I couldn't hold the pain, I need to go to sleep, I closed my eyes and it stayed.  It hurts so bad, I cried. This is my first time I screamed and crying.  I couldn't help myself.  One thing I know, it feels like I am scared when the weather gets colder. I think I won't make it when the winter is coming. 
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