Reserve

As I sat on the sofa, I leaned against an invisible shoulder.  I walked quickly right toward him. He also came toward me, so quickly that we almost hit each other's heads. We both laughed. The obstacle was that I couldn’t see what was holding me back today. 'I shouldn’t have run toward you. If I had been a little faster, we could have ended up hitting each other,' he said. I didn’t say anything. I thought the funnier this meeting began, the better it would be. Yet, typical him, he just a mind-reader. I only smiled and replied, "Let's just go walk, now." yet I remained frozen in space and time, just me and emptiness. We're walking to the city park and just went around, nothing really far but our steps actually might count like a mile. Restless just with him. I simply sat in silence, lost in my thoughts. It's nothing like there's no other place we can be. It's just I found my complete and I don't need to find anywhere else. "If only our ...
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Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

am I too Mean?

Sometimes I can't go no longer
It hurts me more
I used to have this dream
Yet, the dream walk away from me
As I keep chasing it
The chasing we through the storm
Fall and rise, push and pull
Now I lost to the void
I know You didn't know
I wonder if You think I became cruel tonight
I shall bid You good night but I am not. 
I don't know what I do, now.
I can't see the world be so empty
When there's You
The dream I wanted long ago
I see in You
And somehow the happiness never meant for me
But the pleasure I get
To finally see You have the strength
If it is requires me to not in the future
Then let is shall be
To be in the now and knowing You
See love surrounded for You
I have my pleasure.
I shall bid You be happy, now
I shall teach You go on without me
As everyone does
To finally leave me and let me enjoy myself
Alone, yes
As I meant to be
The world for me
Not for You
For You, I will give the stars
To light You way
To the future I meant not to be there
Now, am I mean to You for be like this?
I shall bid you good night, instead.
I shall.
If someday You read this, tell me.
Because I'm certain my intention never want to hurt You
I am born to give unfortunate 
And I shall not give it to You
For violins keep playing
And music makes You wild on the floor
Nothing can stop You
Bid me farewell, if You read this
My tears are hidden for You
My heart and my soul only for You
Abandon me at the end
Then it shall give me the pleasure
And I shall forget
I will keep forget 
I used to be happy
But God forbid me
There I tell You the truth
This truth is already mean to me
So, tell me, now, if I am too mean?

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