One Last Time

an idea: you are a bulletproof girl. Amanda Beth is a common girl, like many common girls. She's being loved by everyone and being hate by some people, too. Amanda is a high school girl with even lower average skills. We have to admit not everyone's smart and not everyone have to be good. So, Amanda gets into a genk, so tho she's stupid, she is saved, not being in bully around the school. She's one of the bully. But, that's not her. Whenever her bad friends are leaving her alone, she's trying to be friend with the bullied ones. She's helping the victims like in ninja ways. As I told you before, she's being loved by everyone, too, right? Amanda is helping them with spreading good things about them rather than against her own friends when the bullying's around. She's doing that for win-win solution and seriously, no ones really feel bad about it. Everyone needs her, but inside of Amanda, she thinks herself as a coward. who thinks
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Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

am I too Mean?

Sometimes I can't go no longer
It hurts me more
I used to have this dream
Yet, the dream walk away from me
As I keep chasing it
The chasing we through the storm
Fall and rise, push and pull
Now I lost to the void
I know You didn't know
I wonder if You think I became cruel tonight
I shall bid You good night but I am not. 
I don't know what I do, now.
I can't see the world be so empty
When there's You
The dream I wanted long ago
I see in You
And somehow the happiness never meant for me
But the pleasure I get
To finally see You have the strength
If it is requires me to not in the future
Then let is shall be
To be in the now and knowing You
See love surrounded for You
I have my pleasure.
I shall bid You be happy, now
I shall teach You go on without me
As everyone does
To finally leave me and let me enjoy myself
Alone, yes
As I meant to be
The world for me
Not for You
For You, I will give the stars
To light You way
To the future I meant not to be there
Now, am I mean to You for be like this?
I shall bid you good night, instead.
I shall.
If someday You read this, tell me.
Because I'm certain my intention never want to hurt You
I am born to give unfortunate 
And I shall not give it to You
For violins keep playing
And music makes You wild on the floor
Nothing can stop You
Bid me farewell, if You read this
My tears are hidden for You
My heart and my soul only for You
Abandon me at the end
Then it shall give me the pleasure
And I shall forget
I will keep forget 
I used to be happy
But God forbid me
There I tell You the truth
This truth is already mean to me
So, tell me, now, if I am too mean?

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