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Showing posts from April, 2022

Reserve

As I sat on the sofa, I leaned against an invisible shoulder.  I walked quickly right toward him. He also came toward me, so quickly that we almost hit each other's heads. We both laughed. The obstacle was that I couldn’t see what was holding me back today. 'I shouldn’t have run toward you. If I had been a little faster, we could have ended up hitting each other,' he said. I didn’t say anything. I thought the funnier this meeting began, the better it would be. Yet, typical him, he just a mind-reader. I only smiled and replied, "Let's just go walk, now." yet I remained frozen in space and time, just me and emptiness. We're walking to the city park and just went around, nothing really far but our steps actually might count like a mile. Restless just with him. I simply sat in silence, lost in my thoughts. It's nothing like there's no other place we can be. It's just I found my complete and I don't need to find anywhere else. "If only our ...
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Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

The Way Up

In a dream, this world of Alice in Borderland. He scared while I am followed the path. Go to the way up. I have a thought that I am a good and bad liar. A good liar because I believe that all the lies I made are the truth. A bad liar because I made people just give in with the lies even though they've knew it already. I am really at my worst that I don't know what to do anything else except to become something I can't even recognize myself.  I just think I would do anything over something that doesn't give me any future. Because it's too hurt to not wreck myself? It's undoubtfully stupid and impulsive act. Which I like it but for my own good.  It's not for my own good, it's just for my mental state.  To make people believe I was insane... or sane, any choice to make? I just love to know. How to go the way up.  And when I am on up, I don't like it.  I just want to be with the simple minded but also respectful.  But in this kind of world, it's neve...
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the Better

She keeps walking to the wrong path She blinds her heart She keeps making same mistakes She put everything in numb She never really listen She hurt herself And, she still tries And, that's good Because she is still fighting for that one Once upon a dream It was all once upon a dream for her Yet, it was so beautiful So beautiful that made her still breathing She thought if only she not remember it Then, she has nothing left I guess that's the right time she has to go The world deserves someone better than her That's what He told me Yet, she's still trying She said, "He is my first love. That I remember, that what makes me breathing." If only He isn't, I say, the better. Yet, she never can forget Him. And He keeps hurting her. And, she's still trying Why?  She said, "He is my first love. That, I still remember." But, He wants more And she really not meant for Him Yet, she's too dumb to realize She's a fool She's nothing She has no o...
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Second Touch

He came back to my dream like this time feels like I am getting back into same movie and I play the same role. Is there any chance to feel deja vu in your own dream?  What I did not know, if I had been on this same dream before then we've met before in dream but we just have not knowing each other for longest time.  This dream felt the same but this dream was really like he tried to reach me. He tried to take care of me. Meanwhile, things were so dark and cloudy, in his dream, I had been pulled and pushed by my own memories and he tried to chase me, jump from dream to dream.  It feels really like that. I feel like be naked and he seen everything what's in my mind. Yet, he never stopped chasing me. From dream to dream. He tried not losing me in his dream. I tried to put all the things together and I can remember he's worried too. I couldn't tell what did he want on this time, same as the first time we met.  He just want to accompany me.  But, this time, he tried ...
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