One Last Time

an idea: you are a bulletproof girl. Amanda Beth is a common girl, like many common girls. She's being loved by everyone and being hate by some people, too. Amanda is a high school girl with even lower average skills. We have to admit not everyone's smart and not everyone have to be good. So, Amanda gets into a genk, so tho she's stupid, she is saved, not being in bully around the school. She's one of the bully. But, that's not her. Whenever her bad friends are leaving her alone, she's trying to be friend with the bullied ones. She's helping the victims like in ninja ways. As I told you before, she's being loved by everyone, too, right? Amanda is helping them with spreading good things about them rather than against her own friends when the bullying's around. She's doing that for win-win solution and seriously, no ones really feel bad about it. Everyone needs her, but inside of Amanda, she thinks herself as a coward. who thinks
Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Second Touch

He came back to my dream like this time feels like I am getting back into same movie and I play the same role. Is there any chance to feel deja vu in your own dream? 

What I did not know, if I had been on this same dream before then we've met before in dream but we just have not knowing each other for longest time. 

This dream felt the same but this dream was really like he tried to reach me. He tried to take care of me. Meanwhile, things were so dark and cloudy, in his dream, I had been pulled and pushed by my own memories and he tried to chase me, jump from dream to dream. 

It feels really like that. I feel like be naked and he seen everything what's in my mind. Yet, he never stopped chasing me. From dream to dream. He tried not losing me in his dream.

I tried to put all the things together and I can remember he's worried too. I couldn't tell what did he want on this time, same as the first time we met. 

He just want to accompany me. 
But, this time, he tried to keep me.
Like I have seen him before, that's why I didn't recognize him, I just tried to play my part. Maybe, this was his first time being on the dreams I had. 

Like a play, he really learned quickly. 
It's like he knew already what to do. 
But, there's something on his eyes that made me feel his existence in mine. 
I wonder what to do. 
I wonder what to say. 
But, like a play and we have our own roles, we say what's in the script. 
It's in his eyes that make me realized.
He's different.

The eyes that he given me from our first time met in a dream. I remember.

That's really me. The one he saw for second time. If he thought the first me was the person who's trying to cheer him up, this time, I didn't want to make him worried. I made myself looking up of my own, yet he learned I have my all troubles alone. I was a mess. I was not really that person he thinks before.

And he trying to take care of me...which well, I couldn't stay on each second, my dreams keep changing. It's like he knew I could not control the world of my dream and it's like the same feeling when he's on our first dream, he is really caring. 

But, dream is just a dream. It's not real. 
When I woke up, he learned my time was up. I left him first and he's in dream alone. 

He tried. I know.
It makes me cry, now.
I miss him so much.

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