Lost Sight, Found Strength

The path is so dark and dim, but Julie keeps walking. She is scared, yet her adrenaline makes her look back several times, urging her to walk faster with each step. She wonders why she can't move faster and then realizes it's just her thoughts getting wilder the longer she's on the road. She shouldn't have chosen this path—terrified and confused. She's already halfway through. It sucks. The only way is to adapt, over time. She has one more block, two more, and again she convinces herself it's just one more step to her destination. She's no longer afraid when she starts looking at the sky instead of the road. The evening feels scarier when it's right in front of our eyes, but when it's above, the stars are beautiful. The cold air on her skin feels warmer as her mind grows calmer. Gently, she realizes that she's no longer worried. In fact, she's arrived, in no time. -- I think loneliness comes from the mind. It's not about being surrounded ...
Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Off The Hook

"How is your feeling, now?" asked John. 
"It's hard for me to say, John. How can I describe it? A way I couldn't be with someone I love anymore?"
"You're doing a great job, Iris."
"Thanks to you, John." Iris suddenly hugged John, "You moved me. You did the bravest thing I've been afraid to do it for such a long time."
"Iris, you just did it. It's over now."
"Yeah. I'm okay."
"You are brave, Iris" he whispered. But, John learned she’s not speaking anymore, "No, no," John looked back to Iris's face, "Don't cry again." John wiped her tears.
"I... I wasn't a good person."
"You are, you are. You are better than me, even" said him.
"I'm a coward, she told me and it's true."
John hugged me again, "Hush...."
"It broke my heart and I couldn't let go that misery. What she told me and how I've been improved since I left her. She’s right all along."
"But you just did an amazing thing, today! I was amazed by what you just did and it proves how wrong she was."
"It's because of you! If you're going away again, I will be a coward again."
"Oh, Iris. I'm not going anywhere."
"You will. You will. What am I supposed to do by myself? They would still haunt me for the rest of my life."
"I know you're scared, Iris."
"Zach has gone. I'm all alone. I could never find man like Zach."
"I'll stay with you. I'll stay with you until Zach returns."
"You mean stay in touch?" Iris cried louder, "You don't know how it felt. I felt his hurt, John. The way that car hit his body. I saw everything. I felt everything. The moment I learned I suddenly inside of the car, I felt someone just left him dying. It was horrible, horrible death. Zach is dead. Because I couldn't stop it to happen."
"It's because you didn't know it was him."
"But, I know something's been wrong the whole year. Then, I just couldn't see his future anymore as I feel it's coming. And it was all true. I mean it's not fair! It's not fair!"
"What's not fair?"
"He didn't know me. My feelings for him? Then suddenly I dreamed of how he died. Screw him."
"But your wings, Iris. Look your shoulders, now. They are lighter, now. One thing has put you off the hook. Isn't this what you want?"
"But, it's because of your courage. Your courage put me on this. You, you, the one who'll leave me again."
"I'm going back. I will be back."
"Zach is not here anymore. I'm being cursed. I hurt a lot of people and not one thing comes good ever since. It's you. It's all because of you and you're going to leave me again. I can't take this." Iris pushed John away and she's walking left him behind. John chased her.
"Iris, wait for me. Iris!" John catch up next to Iris, "We're suppose having a great party, why do you cry?"
"I wish it's not just one hook. There are still many. I don't know, I feel so powerless. You helped me. We did it. Now, you're leaving me. I need you!"
"I'm here, now. Just say what you need!"
"Zach. I need Zach! I need you to help me get back with Zach. But he's gone. He's gone. Even you cannot help me. But you're helping me, today, it moved me. I need you."
"Zach loved you."
"And I loved him!" She shouted, "See? I'm allowed to cry now! Ha!"
"Iris, stop!" John held her hand. 
Iris stopped as she knew that hand was once being held by the man she still longing in love.
"I always be here." He said.
"Where...where is he now, John?" Iris looked to night sky, "Where is he now? Does he know how I feel right now? Where is my superman? Why he left me so sudden? He supposed be here right now."
"He should’ve been in your still heart, Iris. He always be there."
Iris heard what John just said. He looked to John as John was also crying.
"Go the hell on with it." He cried, "You, Iris. You've done the right thing today. I'm proud of you. I'm really proud of you." He took her hand which he still held to in front of her sight, "We did it, didn't we? We won."
"But, what about tomorrow? I have nobody again."
"I know your heart is breaking. Me, too. We'll get through this again. "I won't let you go, Iris."
"Screw you.."
"Right..screw me."
" And screw her. Screw her!!!!" Iris shouted, "I hate Zach, I hate her, and I hate you!"
"You should let go of her, too, Iris."
"How can I let go? How can I forgive if I can't forget?"
"You, you know that answer."
"They took Zach away from me. I would never win from this heartbreak."
"What about her?"
"What if she is the whole reason, too? I have no home, now. You all make me suffered." Iris let off John's hand, "Go on. Leave me, now."
"Iris."
"Nothing's really matter now. Happiness is such a lie. You are the best thing I have, right now." Then Iris looked back to their hold-hands, "How can I live without you?"
"Iris, Zach will come again. I promise."
"He left me. You'll leave too, it's okay. I'm okay. I have been given up long ago."
"I'm not giving up on you."
"Well, you should because I can't take all these judgements anymore. I always hate judgement and you're going to leave me on this judgement hole till I die. I must be a great criminal from my past life. Nothing comes good from me. I'm being punished. I... I realize, now. I shouldn't try to ask you to stay. I forgot I had given up all hopes. I... Silly me. John, I'm sorry. I shouldn't fight anymore,” Iris looked to John eyes. She touched his cheek, "Thank you for today. You're right. We won. I'm grateful for today. Thank you."
"Please, stop, Iris" asked John.
"No. Don't worry. I'll find myself out. Don't come with me. Do not follow me." Iris smiled in tears.
"Why you always have to be the one who walk alone at the end?" John asked.
Iris couldn't answer that. Even to reply the question was too hard for her to accept the answer. Iris then turned back from John and she's walking leave him behind.

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