One Last Time

an idea: you are a bulletproof girl. Amanda Beth is a common girl, like many common girls. She's being loved by everyone and being hate by some people, too. Amanda is a high school girl with even lower average skills. We have to admit not everyone's smart and not everyone have to be good. So, Amanda gets into a genk, so tho she's stupid, she is saved, not being in bully around the school. She's one of the bully. But, that's not her. Whenever her bad friends are leaving her alone, she's trying to be friend with the bullied ones. She's helping the victims like in ninja ways. As I told you before, she's being loved by everyone, too, right? Amanda is helping them with spreading good things about them rather than against her own friends when the bullying's around. She's doing that for win-win solution and seriously, no ones really feel bad about it. Everyone needs her, but inside of Amanda, she thinks herself as a coward. who thinks
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Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

She was Hurt

An open letter for Her.

If you read this.

I hate it. I really care about you. You are the most beautiful and wonderful person I have ever met. I hurt you and I am really sorry. I didn't mean but the universe has settled our journey. 

If you read this.

The reason I didn't contact you ever because it is my mistaken. I can't keep promises. Jus like with other girls, I realized ... I put you as other girl. I feel bad. I kept lying and you kept forgiven me. Yet, we are not in real relationship. I hate myself to blame you pushing me into being someone not me at all. Or maybe you just want to let me be myself the one I had let it go long time as my circle wouldn't let me to be.

Again, it's hurting me either way.

If you read this.

Please, keep read this. I thought to keep up with you will make me happy. It is not going to happen because you are not the reason at all. Yet, that true reason never shows up. 

If you read this.

If I have been hurting you a lot. I am really sorry. I will take this to my grave. I am really ready. I didn't ask you to save me, did I? So, everything is going to be alright, now. 

If you read this.

I understand you have to leave me. You broke our promise. The worst. As a marriage, one had an affair, other would sit alone. You have been through alone. I don't need you anymore. But I put you on the worst place. 

If you read this.

I was a mess. You are not. I won't let you get a mess. I will help you keep clean. 

Like the one who meant to be deceitful. 
I get it now. 
That's my way.
All for you.

At the end, it's never for me.
It's not my place at all.
Not for me.

It's all lies. 
Remember me.

If you read this.

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