Reserve

As I sat on the sofa, I leaned against an invisible shoulder.  I walked quickly right toward him. He also came toward me, so quickly that we almost hit each other's heads. We both laughed. The obstacle was that I couldn’t see what was holding me back today. 'I shouldn’t have run toward you. If I had been a little faster, we could have ended up hitting each other,' he said. I didn’t say anything. I thought the funnier this meeting began, the better it would be. Yet, typical him, he just a mind-reader. I only smiled and replied, "Let's just go walk, now." yet I remained frozen in space and time, just me and emptiness. We're walking to the city park and just went around, nothing really far but our steps actually might count like a mile. Restless just with him. I simply sat in silence, lost in my thoughts. It's nothing like there's no other place we can be. It's just I found my complete and I don't need to find anywhere else. "If only our ...
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Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Defenseless

They're the kind that want her to become what they want her to be.
by telling them what to wear, how to have their hair styled, how they act. 
They don't respect her the way she should be respected. 
Even though she's comfortable around other guys and has no problem playing with their emotions a tiny bit
when she doesn't have affectionate feelings towards them
But with the guy she's feeling for is around, 
she doesn't know what to do, is afraid to do anything, and just freezes. 
She's afraid of speaking up, fearing that something horrible would happen 
She hates feeling that way

 She loves to tease guys
mess around with their heads a little bit and doesn't have trouble being around them. 
She starts having feelings for a guy and it scares her a bit. 
She wants to dress up, gussy herself up and be more womanly for him, 
She wants to impress him. 
She starts feeling nervous and giddy around him.
She decides and tries to play it off and be her typical self
She was had love, but has been burned badly, 
She never wants to be hurt again. 
it backfires and she falls all over him. 
So she's trying her best to keep her distance and not fall for him. 
She seems like she's never been in love before
She hates feeling so defenseless that way

 She feels that this is happening again with her newest guy, 
She decides to put her foot down and prevent herself from falling for the same trap. 
She tries to speak up and be her own self, 
But he thinks she wants more of his attention, 
it comes out all wrong. 

 Emotion, defenselessness, passion and fear all at once.

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