Reserve

As I sat on the sofa, I leaned against an invisible shoulder.  I walked quickly right toward him. He also came toward me, so quickly that we almost hit each other's heads. We both laughed. The obstacle was that I couldn’t see what was holding me back today. 'I shouldn’t have run toward you. If I had been a little faster, we could have ended up hitting each other,' he said. I didn’t say anything. I thought the funnier this meeting began, the better it would be. Yet, typical him, he just a mind-reader. I only smiled and replied, "Let's just go walk, now." yet I remained frozen in space and time, just me and emptiness. We're walking to the city park and just went around, nothing really far but our steps actually might count like a mile. Restless just with him. I simply sat in silence, lost in my thoughts. It's nothing like there's no other place we can be. It's just I found my complete and I don't need to find anywhere else. "If only our ...
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Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Wishful Thinking: Mean

"Why is he mean, Dad?"
"For what you must deserve, kid."
"I didn't do anything wrong. He is surely a grumpy person if no reason to be mean."
"That something."
"Hurts me so bad. Like, I want to hate him!"
"Well, maybe that's the answer. Don't you think, kid?"
"Or, he wants to make a fight!"
"Angry and mean, people gone fight to each other. What is that for?"
"To show how much hate they want to show to others?"
"Hate is very hard to explain for some reasons. But, it's simply to tell others to leave them alone."
"Leave them alone?"
"Yes, kid, leave the angry and mean people alone. That's what you must deserve."
"What I must deserve?"
"Someone better. Someplace good."
"How about the embarrassment that I felt because of those people? They will keep as memories and I need to handle that! I can't just walk away! I need to fight!"
"It's simple. Fight yourself back. You are not going to be the angry and mean, too. You are the control."
"How about with, make them pay?"
"You will make them pay. They want to be alone, let them be a loner. It's not sporting events then don't fight. But, you will find the way when you leave them and move on."
"Leave and do nothing?"
"It's a free world. I just suggest, kid. If you fight, also make sure you have a chance to lose, and back plan if you're losing."
"I am ready! Winning or lose!"
"If you lose, are you deserve it?"
"Of course not!"
"Then why you pick to fight if what you will do is just like gambling."
"The answer is justice, Father!"
"I know you are not a coward, my son. Then, what will you do if you win the fight?"
"I will be free."
"Or you wil still haunted with revenge."
"Revenge, isn't that cruel?"
"What you do is revenge and that is cruel. But, what can I say, kid. You want the war, let there be war."
"Why can't there be peace?"
"That is what you should do, now."

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