Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Disclosure: Part II "The Falling in Love"

Dean woke up and he had another accident bad dream again last night. When he opened his eyes, he full of sweats. Dean found himself on his own bed room. It's already morning. Someone was showering in the bathroom. Dean got out from the bed, drank a glass of water and walked out from the room. He found a breakfast already prepared. Dean poured a cup of coffee. He sat on the kitchen chair just waiting, he looked at his own door bedroom. He didn't do anything. Until, someone came out from the door. A woman with his blue blouse and was drying out the wet hair with a towel. She's smiling and saying, "How's the breakfast, piano man?"

Dean said, "Yes, omelets and salads. Juice, you did know my favorite juice." She came to Dean and kissed him. "What are you going to do, today?" She was served a plate for Dean and she said she's going to some label producer meetings. Shea asked what Dean would do today and he said, "Rehearsing." Then both of them eat their breakfast. That woman said thank you for the night and wish for the another time. Dean drove her to city town. Later he already driving his car around the town alone.

Ever since the accident, both of them were survived. Sadly, Lara's family sent her to the foreign country and they never meet each other again. But, what Dean couldn't forgot was the time before he fainted, Lara was still awake, too, but what she did was holding Dean's hand, "Dean? Dean..." that's what she saying. The time he woke up, his back was injured so he needed to lie up his back. The time he opened his eyes, what he saw was his lonely hand which the last time being held by Lara. The issue was Lara immediately being sent to foreign country because she got lots of fractures on her right body.

It's been six months. Dean's manager said he should stop looking of Lara. It was last time, he thought he find where's Lara, but Dean's manager said, "Do you love her, Dean? This letter said she lost her memory of you. You come then if it's real love, her memories about you, about loving you must be back. But, what if it's not? She didn't love you. You with this imagination of hopeless romantic, Dean."

Dean asked, "What do you want to say?"

Then, he found the news about Lara was on a date with Josh. Dean was broke down. He got mad to his manager saying that someone's trying to keep her from him. Dean's manager said, "You made her couldn't walk again. I've tried to not let the media use it to against you. Seeing you be honest in front of the media, made the whole truth be shadowed. Now, she's dating with a great Wall Street person, no ones will ever disturb you, as long as you're not disturbing her."

Dean asked, "How long they've been dating?" Dean's manager said ever since she woke up, Josh paid the surgery. Dean just whispered, "Lara didn't like it. She didn't love that man. I know." But, Dean's manager told Dean to never get into Lara.

Dean remembered what Lara said to him, "In entertainment business, your manager's decision is important. A man like that is very hard to find. You should be honest to him because he's trying the best for you. He won't tell you anything honestly because you're his customer. But he'll do everything to satisfy you. He knows how much you love music. And, he knows how much he loves your music. If he should take an option between me and your music, you should be already know the answer."

Then, after that, there's Dean going out with this woman label producer. Dean's manager introduced her and she's great cook. Last night was their one night stand. Dean felt he finally could get rid 'something' which in him for six months of his life. Things happened, he got lots of money from that one night stand. He got his third album, the title "The Falling in Love".

Dean also went out with so many women. People noticed Dean be a grown-up person. They kept update with Dean gossip news while no one knows anymore about Lara. Actually, those women to put off media to dig Dean's past.

One interview asked him about the inspiration of the third album, and he said, "My first album was full of things and fun, you know experience of seeing people in love and my thoughts whenever I was still single, that time. My second album was... pretty much about relationship of one woman. Something about love forever with only one partner... So, basically I put love theme first than anything. Honestly, this time of third album was talking about sex." People laughed and Dean said, "It's true. I want my song being play on someone's wedding party that so good until the new married-couple play the track on their wedding night. Something something's memorial." Dean's third album really got hits international chart. But, those things look like nothing about Lara. That a year later, when Dean got his tour schedule at Berlin, Josh was stood in front of his door place. It was a very dramatic situation because Josh asked to talk after a year he's with Lara and never came to Dean.

They both were in Dean's hotel while Dean's manager also was in there on that night. Dean asked his manager so he could leave for half hour and get back with bodyguards to take him away. So, on that night, Josh said,"She really likes you. She wants to see you." Dean didn't say anything but he gave Josh a drink. He sat on the couch while Josh talked to him, "She wants to see you as fans."

Dean laughed, "Well, then buy her the ticket concert." Josh explained, "She already bought the meet and greet ticket. She really wants to take a picture with you. Asking some questions." Dean then asked, "Does she really forget about me?" And Josh said, "You decided to let her forgets about you. But, she remembers your name. When she found out she have went some parties where there's you on it, she wished to remember those nights." Dean said, "But, you took the chance so you can get her." Josh replied, "I came here to tell you about Lara will see you. I am sorry, Dean. But, I love her."

Dean said, "Yes, do whatever you want to do, lover man. I don't care. You came to me just to inform me for nothing. It's not even..."

Josh said, "I ask you to come back to see Lara."

That moment, Dean's manager and bodyguards came in. Dean just stared at Josh with silent, Josh said, "I love her, Dean. But, she doesn't know who she loves. If she loves you or if she loves me, I confused. That's all what I have to say." Josh walked alone out from the room. Dean's manager asked what's Josh saying. Dean was asking if there's any meet and greet with him sooner. Then, he knew what to do.

The moment of meet and greet, Dean made all of his fans who bought meet and greet ticket invited to his party. And, Dean made the party looks like how the last party he came with Lara. He invited all of people who used to come to that party and talked with Lara. Lara with a wheelchair, went out from the house and suddenly a car arrived and Dean went out. Lara was surprised.

Dean said what his saying first time he came to pick her up on the night of accident, "I thought you're doing blue." Dean's tuxedo was blue. Lara, that night also wore a blue dress. Lara was laughed, "I wear blue, I guess."

Dean said, "Yeah, that was really silly." He also nervous so he came to her and escort her to get into the car, Dean's used car on that night, Porsche 997. He tried to get interior looks the same as possible. "I guessed I need you to play the tracks, please?" Lara said, "Alright" and she played the CD player and there's Dean second album. "Do you like it?"

Lara said, "Yes, my favorite album."

Dean whispered, "You used to like the first album before." 

Lara asked, "Excuse me?"

Dean said, "What tracks? 

Lara answered, "I like tracks 'Hear You', 'Tough', 'Our Night', and 'Clara'. But, if I can say something, I prefer your first album, last track, 'Find Me'. You know why?"

Dean smiled, it took a silent for a while then he answered, "I guess it's because I made this song for someone."

Lara said, "You did?"

Dean whispered, "You always ask me the same question about the story behind this song."

Lara asked,"What question?"

Dean replied, "Oh, it's nothing. I just wonder about what do you think about that song?"

Lara answered, "Well, the lyrics keep saying 'I need to know, will you come find me? I am here on the half way. I am here on the half way.' then, the last reff. changes into, 'I see you, now, will you come to me? I am here on the half way. I am here on the half way, road.' I think it's a message."

Dean asked, "What kind of the message?"

Lara said, "The message for someone to find you."

Dean said, "I made this song for my future wife. I saw her in my dream. And, it just one day and I finished it."

Lara was saying, "So, it's really kind of a message."

Dean laughed, "Yes, but I thought you're gonna say your favorite song as 'Clara'."

Lara replied, "Oh, yeah. But, it's too much to say those things in front of you."

Dean asked, "Why?"

Lara said, "I mean you'll think I'm kind of a crazy fans. Thought that 'Clara' song was made for me, almost 'Lara'. So, awkward."

Dean asked, "It's about love, you know." He started to sing, "Me and Clara. Want to go around the world. Always want to be together. But, sleep at night won't leave us alone. And roads keep do us apart. We set our watch with same time but still not work out. Me and Clara, be friends I don't mind."

Lara said, "That's sweet. You didn't say any love words and seems the man just saying he wants to be friends with the woman. Do you think she listen it and she knew you love her?"

Dean said, "I thought. What do you think?"

Lara said, "I thought you're just want to be friend with the woman. This song might hurt her."

Dean, "She loved me to be honest. You, I mean she said it's really good song, too."

Lara replied, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to mock or say any harm feelings."

Dean answered,"Oh, don't worry. Actually you  telling me more honest than she ever said to me. Which is good. She, Clara person was someone who we thought always being honest to us but the truth, she always keep her feelings alone."

Lara replied, "I love the song because I thought you, Sir, as the writer was having this fine and fun experience of love someone. And, I wish I was Clara person."

Dean smiled again and asked, "You never told me about when you like my songs."

Lara laughed. She felt a little embarrased to share the story but she then told it, "Your first song that I heard was the third album, 'Hard Lips'. I was with Josh, well, my fiance. We were back from the rehab and that day I was so tired. Things just happened, I thought no one will ever falls in love with someone like me, I can't walk anymore, that's what I thought. Then suddenly he put an earphone to my ear, the track just played, 'Hard Lips', and I asked him, 'Is it means do you want to have sex with me?', and we both were laughing. And ever since, I'm obsessed with you."

Dean asked, "Did you have sex with your fiance after that?"

Lara answered, "No, no, no. I'm actually not comfortable with the issue." She laughed, "Could we not talk about this. It's kind of private."

Dean was also laughing. They were chatting lots of music, until they were arrived. Then, people did what they were told. Because of Lara was in the wheelchair seems people  who already knew her put a lot of improvitation questions such as, "How do you feel?" But when someones started the question, "Do you remember me?" it started hitting on Lara's mind. She suddenly gets tired around many people. So, Dean put everyone's away and they both together just continue chat together.

People then find both of them like a nostalgic moment. Dean asked, "If I could reset the time and back to where that last moment happened. The time we met on the same party, but, I mean, you know, would you like to have a dance with me?"

Lara said, "I still can walk, Dean. It's just still hurt when I start to stand up."

Dean said, "I am sorry. I just ask if you want to have dance with me."

Lara said, "Oh no. I'm the one who's sorry. So many people ask me the same thing about me and the wheelchair. I have this trauma issue with it and it's still one of my sensitive issue. I didn't mean to yell at you."

Dean said, "You've changed." Lara didn't know what to say, then Dean laughed, "Maybe, it's the real you. The mad person, spontaneous mad. That accident must gave you lots of hard  time."

Lara asked, "How do you know if I had changed?"

Dean was silent. He, then asked to leave for a moment, and Lara was really worried she alone around the whole party with no one ahe knows.

Josh suddenly came out. Dean looked from far, and Lara was surprised.  She asked, "I'm so glad. So glad you're here. When you arrived?"

Josh replied, "I was invited." He showed the invitation. Lara found the envelope looks different than the meet and greet party she had. "You seemed really close with Dean."

Lara said, "His manager told me that someone will pick me up for this party and then Dean just showed up in front of my door. Looks like my dream comes true, Josh." Josh sat down and he started ask her the same several questions from the time of night accident.

Lara responded, "What is it, Josh? Are you jealous with Dean? I really talked with him from the first time just this evening."

Josh asked, "Do you love him?" 

Lara was angry, "What is it about love?"

Josh answered, "I think I should ask you on a date, sometimes."

Lara was laughed, "What? I don't know, Josh."

Josh asked, "Why?"

Lara said, "I don't know. I think it's because," Something returned and hitting Lara's head, "I feel wrong about it."

Josh said, "There's nothing wrong. I'll show you. I mean, I know some romantic places of this little town. Have you ever spend at those places with Dean?"

Lara answered, "What place, Josh? I'm with Dean only this evening night. We're just hang out, I think."

Josh replied, "If I know you're not with Dean, I should ask you long time ago."

Lara said, "What kind of silly conversation is this?"

Josh said, "Just this one time date. You won't regret it."

Lara then just shouted, "What thing that I will not regret, Josh? What? We never had this conversation like this before. Could you just shut up?"

Josh didn't give up. He kept talk, "About your phone. I think the broken phone was because of me. Would you mind if I change your phone?"

Lara asked, "What are you talking about, Josh? What phone?"

Josh answered, "The one that I broke this morning."

Lara asked, "This morning?"

Josh said, "Yes, this morning on the street, we're bumped to each other and then, you dropped your phone. The phone fell to the street. I feel bad about it, so I think the right thing was asking you for the change it."

Lara said, "Let's stop it, Josh. You didn't break any of my phone. Bumping? Are you drunk? Anyways, I don't need you to change anything. Someone's already bought it to me." In that moment, Josh knew. And, also Lara.

Suddenly, Dean came back, "What is it? Lara, is he disturbing you?"

Lara said, "Oh, no, Dean. This is Josh, my fiance."

Josh shake Dean's hand, "We meet again, Dean."

Dean said, "The one who broke Lara's phone this morning."

Lara surprised, "What? You know my phone was broken this morning, too?"

Dean answered, "It's alright, Lara. Well, Sir, I guess we're both already need to go home. Let's go back home, Lara."

Lara replied, "Wait, stop, I don't want to back home, now. Josh, what's happening about this morning?" She seemed still confused.

Josh answered, "You lost your phone."

Lara said, "No, I'm not. I bring my phone right, now. You see," She opened her clutch bag and what she saw, "It's Blackberry Bold, a white-one," Her broken phone was black-colored and Dean bought the same type with white-color, "Dean bought me the new one." Suddenly, she dropped her clutch bag. "What did I just say?"

Dean told her, "Lara, do you remember?"

The moment Dean asked Lara, she found her head turned dizzy. "My vision," She suddenly remembered the last time of the accident. She was inside the car, couldn't feel anything, but she saw Dean's neck got shattered by a shard of window glass, Dean eyes looked at her and she tried to not lose him. So, her left hand grabbed his hand and she tried to call his name. That vision suddenly pop-out through her mind. She suddenly said, "Dean, you were bleeding. Somebody saved him, help." And, she passed out.

The way she woke up, Dean was sitting on the chair, next to the bed. Dean said, "Hi."

Lara cried, "I thought you were dead. I thought maybe you just never exists."

Dean also cried, "I thought you did forget about me."

Josh was outside the room and looked both of them together, he couldn't stand for it. He took left. He walked out and met Dean's manager. Dean's manager asked, "You're just very dramatic, aren't you, Josh man? The third album was Dean's very mistake of experience love. Many scandals, yet Lara still fallen in love. I told him from the beginning that he doesn't need Lara's love or anything from her. Suddenly, he just did what I told, some kind of maybe Dean was really in love with Lara and even they were separated, they're still connected to one another."

Josh said, "They are really in love, and needs me to let them saw it."

Dean's manager said, "And, you should do the same thing, Mr. Wall Street. You know, love means to learn be with someone else that they never met before or knew, but still grow and grow until things work out. Lara is that kind of person and maybe, that's how she is. It's never your fault. Lara is not good person to express herself, falling in love with someone. Neither is Dean."

Josh answered, "Yes, I thought if she learned to love me then she must be in the end really into me."

Dean's manager asked, "Do you think for the whole year you're with her and being engaged with her, not a single day she ever in love with you?"

Josh took a silent. He prefer not to answer it. Dean's manager just stop talk and gave him a cigarette. Josh light it on and smoked. Josh then answered, "I know she loves me. I just couldn't marry someone who forget how she end up palsied." Dean's manager heard it saying Josh was so rude. Suddenly, Josh showed Dean's manager a little box, "After this, I'll ask her to marry me."


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