Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Freak Adoring

Brandon Lee, the man who was a widower just for a year in marriage. Brandon used to work as a stage play actor. He met his deceased wife on the stage backdoor, where so many people adored him as fans. Basically, his deceased wife was one of his fans. Brandon Lee was new with the famous and spotlight. His deceased wife was kind of expert as famous girlfriend. Brandon Lee knew about his wife history with so many handsome and cool exs. Brandon Lee was compassion man and careful. He knew there’s something about his deceased wife that he didn’t know and he decided to not get involve. 

For several years they’ve been dating, the wife knew she wouldn’t get the proposal from Brandon, so she decided to do the first move. Brandon Lee knew there’s something she hide but he knew how much he loved her, so he fooled himself and asked the girl to marry him. It was a good memory, that suddenly, Brandon saw how his wife got shot by anonymous. Brandon Lee was broken, it was just a year of marriage. 

For the times after that, Brandon Lee was on rehabilitation institute. He thought he could survive on this world with being wild, reckless, and selfish. He used to be on the stage play because it’s modest. But, he would do anything to make himself forget all the bad memories. He knew the only way to be is being a celebrity. An actor who would act as anything, be anything, being with anyone, pretend to do anything or anyone. 

Brandon for five years after his wife gone. He became Casanova on the town or maybe the whole world. His fans are most of the world. Brandon became famous but it didn't satisfy him. One night, Brandon was on the party. Brandon never forgets his deceased wife’s face. He always see her no matter what. No one knows that. Brandon was afraid of that night so he came back early. All his staffs never left him alone, it made him stop thinking about his deceased wife. He made his workplace as the best place, comfort place.

Lexy, a nerd girl who wants to be on elite sorority, if she could. But, she’s not from the rich family or royal family. She’s not even having a good look as model or actress. She’s just good in grades, great schools, great names, and great on the stage play. She’s joining school’s play while she can, and entertain people. Lexy is one of Brandon Lee’s fan. 

Lexy knew him about a year ago, from Brandon Lee’s third movie, about he became a sweet man who’s in the middle of triangle love with great women. Lexy adored his act because he didn’t choose any of the girls in the end. The character he played still having affair with both of women. Lexy knew how hard to be the actors and actresses on the movie. Lexy adored the secretary character on the movie, because she’s the only woman that Brandon didn’t have sex with on the movie and very important for Brandon’s life on that movie. Lexy wants to be that secretary. She wished one day she could get a chance to be closer with Brandon as the relationship as that secretary. It was simply a freak adoring of her as fan. A dreamer.

Five years later, Lexy was assistant director of the business company. She traveled with his boss, handsome single boss, named Keyes Lane. Keyes walked to around the world being a businessman. Keyes met Lexy because Lexy got promoted by his mother. Keyes knew Lexy could be the one that his mother choose for Keyes get get to further relationship. Lexy, on another hand, already bloomed. Everyone whispered about her and Keyes, Lexy wished for it. The most exciting thing, Keyes asked her to go to the most her wishful dream, Venice Film Festival. 

On that year, Brandon Lee promoted his movie, the selection, “Burn Down”. Even though Lexy was into Keyes, Lexy was so excited to see Brandon Lee. That’s the first time Keyes found the face of woman that 'not actually' into with him. The feeling of Lexy was not even asking of anything of his. So, Keyes did what he thought what Lexy could be. And, it was being proved, Lexy was a nerd or geek, childish, but smart. Just on along night, Keyes already felt honest with Lexy.

That day, Lexy watched Brandon Lee on the red carpet. Lexy just hold Keyes hand as she almost crying. For the first time, Keyes kissed her forehead. Brandon Lee for a slight moment, he saw that scene, what he saw was his deceased wife. He right away look another side. Lexy and Keyes watched Brandon Lee’s movie and they had a great time together. Lexy and Keyes also met several great fans of Brandon Lee, also couples, Pauline and Hammond. Four of them went around the festival in no time, to see Brandon Lee’s conference table. They didn’t get the seats. Its quiet sad for Lexy but she tried to control her feeling in front of Keyes. They were all trying to cheerful. Then, from far away, she got a hint.

She waved her hands and she thought she could get Brandon Lee’s attention. Keyes was surprised but anyways, people around them as Brandon Lee fans that also didn’t get seats, do the same. Suddenly from far, Brandon Lee saw them all and greeted them. Lexy who already being the front line got paid attention from Brandon. Brandon was just looking, but Lexy had a big smile and gave cues or motions with her hands, “I love you for a long time! You did a great job and you are handsome for the rest of my life! Amen!” That moves made Brandon laughed. So, Brandon got up and applauded his fans. So, in the end, the conference was over and they were all back to the hotel.

Keyes asked her to have a diner on the restaurant. Lexy got a great dress and when she walked to the restaurant, she realized it’s all celebrities restaurant. The first thing she do was walking straight to Keyes, hug him and said, “Thank you.” Keyes never saw a girl like this before. While they’re eating, Keyes asked her, “Do you ever love me?” Lexy was smiled, giggled, and she said, “I always put myself as good partner for anyone who wants to be next to me. But, what you did, like right now, I guess I’m in love with you. But now, I was wondering, what is happening? Am I do something wrong?” Keyes said, “No.” Lexy replied, “I don’t deserve these things. In the end, we were all just workers. I am your worker. I can’t pretend myself to get close to you just for all of this. I am so sorry.” Keyes replied, “For once, you never lie to me. You are so pretty as who you really are, Lexy.” 

Brandon suddenly showed up, he sat on the bar. He looked Lexy with a man, she dressed like a famous person. Brandon came to the table and introduced himself, “Do I know you?” Lexy looked who's talking then she was in shock. She's star strucked. She looked to the other way. Keyes stood up and replied Brandon, “It is such an honor to meet you, Mr. Lee.” But, Brandon asked Lexy, “You were my fans. Why you didn’t get seats but at the behind with the crowds. Looks like you have money. Who is she?” Keyes looked at Lexy, Lexy then looked at Brandon Lee and just smiled. Then, she suddenly got up, look a little to Keyes, but didn’t say anything. “You’re the one who made the signs, right?” Brandon Lee gave the same signs and Lexy giggled. All her face gone red.

Brandon Lee pulled a chair and they were talking together. Lexy didn't know what to say. She was stunned. Lexy just simply answered several questions such as, "Lexy, you can call me, Lexy, Sir." then, "I wish to be the secretary." That in the end, "I'm glad you're good on the musical. Everyone loves musical." There were so many questions inside her head but she knew it would be not cool for her to question that looks like the press or freak fans. Great thing was Keyes there and he as good businessman, he was great made a chat. Most of the talks are the boys. Keyes said Brandon's first stage play was the nearest place from Keyes and Lexy town. But, Brandon Lee answered he's not interest to do more stage play.

Later, they got another appointment, so Brandon Lee exchanged the card with Keyes, also with Lexy. Brandon Lee saw her full name, Alexandra Marrow. “You’re not much talking, Miss Marrow?” Just after Lexy walked with Keyes out from the restaurant, Brandon Lee just saw them walk to the hotel lift, he back to the bar and Lexy kept walk straight, didn’t say anything until she with Keyes alone inside the lift, “OH MY GOD!” Keyes laughed, “You’ve been star strucked, Lexy. That’s very different of you.” Both of them were laughing. 

While Brandon Lee, he just gave a shot of drinks. He was drunk and he came to Lexy’s place, he knew when there’s a fan that into him, that he could just have one night stand with the girl. But, luckily, Lexy and Keyes got invited to spend a night on their new friend’s yacht. Brandon Lee waited Lexy came out but no one opened the door. He more laughed, he even sat and slept until dawn. His staffs looking at him, helping him back to his place.

In the morning, Lexy was sitting on the corner of the breakfast launch, alone, with puffy face. She looked not cool. Brandon Lee was ready to have things on the morning, he found the girl on the bar and came to her, “Excuse me?” Lexy looks terrified like she didn’t sleep the whole night. “Where were you the whole night?” Lexy didn’t answer, because she didn’t know what she’s talking with. “Sam?” asked Lexy. Brandon Lee was surprised, “No, I’m not Sam.” Then, Lexy look around, “Where’s Sam?” Lee answered, “I don’t know.” The bartender came to Lexy and gave the cappuccino, Lexy said, “My morning milk!” Then, she drank it. She came back asking Brandon Lee again, “You are not Sam, right? There was a man named Sam, sitting next to me, just before you. We were chat, and I guess that man was already gone, and I might talking with myself.” Lee laughed. “Where were you last night?” Lexy smiled, “We were on the yacht, and there was a fight, I decided to leave the yacht, finished my works, real job works. So, here I am. Got work up all night.” Lee asked, “You were in the hotel all night. But not in you room?” Lexy answered, “Oh, no. I was so mad with Keyes, so I screwed all of his place.” Suddenly, Keyes shouted out, “Lexy!” Keyes seemed worry, Keyes more shocked with Lee next to her. Lee was not saying anything. Lexy just right away stood up but she seemed sad about something. Lexy said, “I am sorry, I will let myself back home.” Lee got wondered. “What’s happening, Mr. Keyes?” Keyes didn’t say anything, he right away chasing Lexy. Brandon Lee looked at the both, last night they were happy then they were on fight. But, the really awkward thing, the girl apologizing. “I am sorry, Keyes. I’m sorry.” Keyes yelled at her from front. The girl even didn’t get into the same lift. 

Her head just looked down wait another lift open up. Lee saw it and he came to her, waited behind her, both of the get into the same lift. Lexy didn’t notice. Lee pushed her level place, to help her so she didn’t have to push the button. But, the girl pushed the button of Keyes place. So, what Lee did was just turn off the button. Keyes place was higher floor. When they were arrived, Lexy didn’t get out from the lift. So, the lift door was closed. The lift went down, Lee talked, “Hi, are you alright?” Lexy surprised, “Mr. Lee?” Lee asked, “What’s happening?” Lexy didn’t know what to answer, “It’s nothing. I’m alright. I’m sorry.” Lexy right away push her floor button, “What’s your button, Mr. Lee?” And Brandon Lee gave the floor. Lexy came out first, she didn’t say anything. She felt she didn’t deserve things. 

The door closed, Lee just paused the floor and back to open the door, when he came out, he saw Lexy hugged Keyes. Keyes saw Lee. Lee didn’t know what to do. So, he get back and forget about anything.

Lexy cares of Keyes business trip. She woke up all night to fix things out. They need to take a flight. Keyes brought sleepy Lexy on his arms. People saw them as sweet couples, seems like on honeymoon. People, including Lee’s staffs. Lee back from the festival conference and found the girl was gone with the sweet touch from the boyfriend as his staff gossips. But for Brandon Lee, Keyes looks kind of mean boyfriend.

Six months later, Lee came to Lexy’s town. Lexy was jobless. She quit from the job. For six months, Lexy was working as kindergarten teacher. She kept seeing the news of Keyes. He announced the engagement with someone special. Lexy was smiled to see that news, she also got the invitation. She just threw the invitation to the trash. 

While, Brandon Lee remembered the couples but not the new face of Lexy. He showed up to the party, everyone’s excited and especially the new fiancé also has the same interest with Lexy. Keyes introduced the fiancé and the fiancé said to Lee, “I am you best fan. I know everything about you.” She looks madness person. Lee didn’t like her. Lee went out from the party, but Keyes chase him. “Thanks for coming to my fiancé.” Lee said, “I wasn’t coming for that fiancé.” Then, Keyes knew and he said, “She’s the one who dumping me. She hurt me. She’s gone, left me, screwed things, and keep leave me. I guess she wanted this. I sent her the invitation, she didn’t show up. So, she’s hurt, I nailed it. It’s win-win.” Lee replied, “That's mean.” Keyes didn’t answer anything, “Thank you for coming.” Keyes back to the party.

A month later, Lee came to the stage play. It was outstanding. For once, Lee felt he knew something that he missed so much. Suddenly, on the backstage, he saw his hallucination again, about his deceased wife. He was afraid. But, on that first opening night, there was also her, Lexy. Just the moment, Lee felt he didn’t see any of his deceased wife illusion anymore. He saw Lexy. Lexy didn’t came to near him, because he might recognize her. Lee ran to the crowd and hugged her. People were shouting and screaming, just suddenly, Lee and Lexy were already in the limo. Lexy didn’t say anything. Lee kept looking at her. All things gone silent. “I’m sorry, I can’t take you home because the press tailing our limo.” Lee and Lexy came to the hotel. On the hotel, Lexy got new clothes. She could go whenever she want to leave the hotel. Lee asked his manager to keep Lexy for a while to talk. So, they both were talking all night.
“Are you okay?”
“How’s your man,Keyes Lane?”
“I knew you came to his engagement party. It was so sweet to his fiancé, I knew her. We both used to watch your movies together.”
“I even didn’t realize. Fans united.”
“I saw you on the news, and you seemed happy with the work of the stage play. I bought the ticket right away and you are stunning.”
“Thank you.”
“I always want to take a picture of you, sign the picture, and I will frame it and it will be fine.”
“That’s what fan do. But, they used to get more than that.”
“I’m not a bond girl. I used to play with kids. Not dangerous things.”
“You don’t like my body?”
“I’m not good on booty-call. If you mean that.”
“I could show you, help you.”
“I think I should go.”
“Hey, wait. I don’t mean that. I just want to talk, please.”
“I don’t know, Sir. But it feels not right.”
“What do you want to make things fine to you?”
“I could just go home, Mr. Lee.”
“Please, call me, Brandon.”
“I used to call you Brandy.”
“I have work tomorrow.”
“Well, maybe if I could just, drive you home?”
So, Lee and Lexy disguised as normal people with normal car. When, both of them arrived with the little house, Lexy started to ask him to leave, but Lee asked her to invite him in. So, they had something to eat.
“This is good.”
“It’s junk food. I’m sorry.”
“It’s been a long time.”
“Why you want to talk with me?”
“I don’t know. I just want to know you.”
“I can’t. This is not right. As a fan, why you choose me from the whole over the world?”
“We’re the same citizen of the same town, I guess? Easier.”
“I’m not this country citizen, actually. As long as I have the job, I’ll stay. I just need to keep as good citizens for several years.”
“You could marry Keyes.”
“So is this the reason why you want to talk?”
“It could be something from that night.”
“Yes, you’re right.”
“What is it?”
“That night. On the yacht, Pauline and Hammond, they were a press. For you. They thought we’re also the press. So, I played the game. Keyes didn’t like it, I knew. I felt bad, so I thought we got to leave. Keyes didn’t want to leave He was too drunk. And,”
“What is it?”
“He grabbed my hands so tight and angry. He asked if I better get back to the hotel and do what I better do. Just that. So, I went back to the hotel. I came to his place,”
“You did work all night up and messing his place.”
“Did he told you?”
“You told me.”
“Sam, on the bar in the morning.”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Well, let’s step forward from that. Why you break up with him?”
“He was angry because I talked about you, lots more, like it was a freak. I was a freak for him. I never know how to handle things. He wants to make things work out. But, to do that, I must stop usual things. Be normal as he wants.”
“And he is getting marry with the same person as you.”
“Yes. But I knew, I knew he was lying to himself.”
“It could meant what he really want is you.”
“I don’t want him. Let’s get over it.”
“Do you want me?”
“No. Please, don't ask me more questions. That’s the whole point of being as fans. This relationship, this thing was not real. I think you should leave me and gone.”
“What if it’s real?”
“What’s real?”
“I want you to be my girlfriend.”
“To do what?”
“Like this. Talk with me and cooking. And, go to balls with me.”
“You could ask your staffs. I don’t want it.”
“You could be my staff, every day to be with me.”
“In my head, you should know, I always feel sad about you and your loss. Every time I talk with fans, they didn’t feel the same thing. So, maybe that’s the different thing you find about me. I care about your loss and even after seven years, I would respect you as human needs to be.”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. I guess, I should leave, now.”
Lee left her place. After the door closed, Lexy was shaken. She just being asked by her most favorite star to be his girlfriend. What she needs is get sleep and wake up from the silly dream.

Brandon Lee came back to the hotel. He drank on his room, he knew something different about Lexy but he never thought that it could be about his deceased wife. “What was that all about?” He laughed by himself, he opened his always box he never leave behind, he still brought the ring. “Can I just move on from you?”
On the morning, Lee woke up and he started to shower, make things right. He came with the press, came to the kindergarten. While Lexy, she was not at the workplace. Lee came to her house, Lexy was not there. Lee was being stood up. All the press talk about it. Lee was mad. He came back to the hotel, and suddenly many flowers inside his room. Lexy sent all the flowers and the card said, “I’m just a freak fan as other fans.”

Lee laughed about it. So, he continued his work on the stage play for three months, and Lexy was still there but she's changing the apartment from the little house so no press around her. She keeps watch Lee’s play. On the backstage door, Lee knew Lexy was there. Both of them were good to be each other from far away.

After three months, the stage play was over. Lee also got a movie job to the foreign country. Lexy felt sad but she tried to endure them. The last night, Lee looked happy on the stage play, from far Lexy just watched him. Lexy went home, that Lee was already in front of Lexy’s apartment door. “I want to sleep over.” 

Then, it just happened. Lee came to the Lexy apartment. Lexy didn't know what to say but she just smiling. 
"I guess this is the end."
"Thank you for the whole stage play. You are amazing."
"Tomorrow I will leave with my jet. To Japan."
"Japan is a great country."
"Do you know what country it was?"
"Do you mean about you and the honeymoon."
"You know everything about me."
"I don't mean that."
"You said you want a picture of me, I will sign it for you, too."
"Yes, sure."
"I will bring my polaroid."

Lee put the sleep pill to Lexy's drink. As it looks normal, They were taking picture together. The polaroid picture came out, Lee signed it, and he gave her the frame, "I knew the size." Lexy replied, "This is the most great present I ever had." She cried. Brandon Lee asked a toast, they drank the apple juices. Then suddenly, Lexy gone sleep.

When Lexy woke up, she’s already on the jet plane. “I am sorry. I want you to know it’s not my fault.” One staff named, Caleb. There’s another staff, named Shiras, “You’re being abducted.” Lexy screamed. Lee suddenly show up with food, “Hey, hey. I brought you your favorite food.” Lee calmed her down. Then, they both had private chat.

Lee told her that he could be just stop trying. But, he never found someone that can replace his deceased wife. “Just two weeks, this Japan trip. We could try, make things work. As a real normal people. Getting to know each other. You know me so well, but I don’t know you that well.”
“You’re a freak!”
“You are too. Let’s say we’re even.”
“What do you want?”
“I want my life back. I think the answer is you.”
“Me? I can’t help you.”
“Yes, you can.”
“Enjoy our holiday.”

So, that’ how Lee and Lexy will find the way getting to know each other.


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