“I can’t help myself to cry, to
feel the pain, to see the broken heart, and make the enemy on suffer.” I walked
to the front barricade. People were ready to fight. I whispered to myself. “I
make this thing up. I should’ve laugh. We should’ve eat, drink, and dance. No
more fighting.” I arrived at the front line. He was there.
“It’s alright. Take my hand.” He
gave me his hand. “We can run away back to home.” I held his hand, “If that is
what you want.” He squeezed my hand so tight. He looked at me then he look away
to the front. He never loves me. He wants to be here.
“I can wait.” I said. His face
looked through all things in front us, I know he just wants at least, try. He
didn’t look at me, at all. There, I kissed his cheek. “Don’t forget me.”
“Yes.” He whispered. I wish he look
at me, at least.
The war is started as the horn
being roared. People around me started scream and run to the battlefield. My
nerve was just like ‘I’m going to die.
He’s going to die.’ I hate it. But, nobody turn away back, they never
scared, at all. In my head, it’s always about what if? What if I never fall in love with the man? I could just
get another man and never be in here.
“I should let go your hand!” We
both started running. His right hand grabbed the great sword. I believe it was
sharp. The sun shone upon it and so silver. “Please! Let go of my hand!” I
screamed. He kept running. Should I let
go my hand, first?
All I want to see on the last time
of his life is supposed to be his smile, not his back. His shoulder is so firm
and his muscles are strong. But, the most thing I shall remember is his face. I
don’t want him to be gone, so soon. He’s so young. I also never want to let go
of my hand, first.
The only thing I always fond about
him is how he used to follow me from back. “Excuse, me,” his first voice and I
already fond of him. The moment I turned around, for the first time, there his
face and smile. I always thought he must love me that very much. But, what is with this war?
I never want to be like all women
who send their men to the battlefield, then cry after found their men died.
They wished to dead instead, that they won’t fall in love, again. They’re
coward. I’m not. I want to stand right next to my man. And, if he die, I want
to be by his side. I never stop to think about it. To never let my love die alone.
It just, finding to see the real
face of death of your love, the right moment, you wish you never know. I run with his hand still grab mine. This
silly war and the rain of blood. Further steps, he will kill somebody. Or, he
will be killed. I prepared with my own weapons and guarding skills of myself.
He told me, if I want to be on battlefield. “You are all alone.” There, he said to me. The moment I realized he
never ever has the same thought with me about never let love die alone, I just less love him, that’s all.
He, let go my hand. It must be the
hard thing to do. And, he didn’t turn around. He killed first man in front of
him. It was so shocking. I was hard to see those silent seconds that man just
stop to breathe. I swallowed my scream. Then, he ran to the other side, fight
with other one. He left that dying body, who the eyes stared at me, stood not
far in front of him, and the body was fell.
“What should I do?” All of those
lessons just puffed. It was gone. I’m speechless like I can’t remember my line.
I asked him, before, to cut my hair, my very long hair, just like any women, he
said it will be hard to grow them back long, again. I just assure him, “It
doesn’t matter if you die.” Then, he cut my hair. Suddenly, there’s an enemy
ran to his back, across of my face. That trigger, that feeling, those goose
bumps, it just suddenly appeared. I put out my little sword from the shield,
and came to that man back. I stabbed that back. That man was screaming. I
didn’t waste any seconds, I pulled back my sword from it and that man turned
around. I back stabbed the sword to him. There
again, the man became no more.
That body fell to the ground and I
looked at my love. He stared at me, just seconds, then he came to another
person who try to kill us. It feels like I’m not here, anymore. I becomes
someone else. Something forced me to kill, like it was the real definition of defense yourself.
I’m scared, but the thing is it
seems the right thing to do. If not, I might lose him. I love him. I guess,
that’s enough to kill many enemy people.
Human. Souls. Father, brother, or sons. Just like the man that I love.
Later, it’s getting hard to tell, if it’s really love.
There were so many men and I was so
little. Just, this moment, we’re being separated. I couldn’t see which one is
him. I was frightened. But, those bad guys just came strike to me. Keep me
busy. That, later, I forgot. I met more men to help me. Kind of teamwork. I
survived. All alone.
There, people of my side just died
around me. I’m standing by myself. Am I
selfish? I should’ve the one who should die. And, I remember him, we just
being separated a while ago. I looked around. The last time I left him. Is he
still there? Is he still alive? “Come
back,” I started shaking, “Come back to me,” I whispered to myself. It’s getting
fewer. I could see things clear. Come
back, please, come back to me.
Do we win or not, I want to win.
Left all of things behind with, at least, the right result. And, if we lose, I
guess, I just want to see him alive. There,
I saw him. He’s hurt on his shoulder. It’s bleeding so much. He used his
sword with his left hand. He still fought. I ran. “Rover!” I called him. He
didn’t see me. He knew my voice, I could see he look around. I guess, I should
take off my helmet. “Rover! I’m here!”
“Abby!” He shouted on the air.
“Where are you?”
“Rover!” I shouted. Then, I saw his
face. For, last time. Run. I need to put him on the save place, “Rover!”
He kept busy with several attackers. When I arrived, I killed one of them.
“Abby,” He called me from my back,
as usual. I turned around, I poured a
lot of tears, I gone crazy. I hugged him so tight. He did come back to me. I’m shaken.
“I don’t want to be here! Let’s go!
Let’s go home!” I asked him. “Let’s leave.”
“We are losing,” He said. He looked
around, I saw it.
“Rover?” I asked his attention, “Rover?”
“Abby, we’re losing.” He said.
“No, we’re not,” I replied, “We’re
not.”
“There’s still people out there. I
need to keep it save.”
I’m in love with the great man. I
just knew, at this time, I’m gonna really
lose him. I want to stop him to do that. Just stop. “Please,” I whispered, “Come back to me.” I didn’t hear
he reply. “Please, take me home.” I couldn’t catch the look into his eyes. I should’ve not let him go to war, at all.
All women should never let the men go to war. He seemed already gone.
“Abby, I need you to find the real
save place.” He said. “I need you to run! I will run back at you.” His first time lie. “I always behind
you.” He started to push me. Someone’s coming. The enemy. He killed, again. “Run,
Abby! Go!” He shouted. He forced me and I ran. I saw the hill. I ran to the
hill.
I turned around. He never behind
me. I hate it. “We’re not losing. We’re not losing.” I whispered to myself. Everyone’s losing. That’s the real result.
“Rover!” I shouted his name and ran back. I
know what I really want. “Rover!”
“Abby!” He shouted. He also ran to
me. I will throw his sword away and drag him to the hill with me. It maybe
because I asked him first, to let go of my hand. “Abby, why you come back?”
“We’re not losing!” I shouted. I
made him drop his sword. I held his right hand. “I want you to stop killing!
Stop kill!”
“Abby! I need you to go! Just go!”
He mad.
“I will not leave you die in here!”
I screamed, “Please,” I begged, “Please, don’t make me do this.”
“I must. This is war. Soldier will
not surrender.” He said.
“I know! I can’t lose you, too.” I
said it. “But, for once, you should just do it. Surrender,” I cried, “if you
knew we’re losing.” Come back, come back
to me. “We don’t need win.”
“Abby.” He hugged me. “Go.” He
pushed me. That time, he looked at me, finally.
I guess this is the break up. I’m gone mad.
“You need win, right?” I looked
through the whole field. I saw the enemy side. There, I could see they looked
at us as ants. “All you need is just win, aren’t you?” I left him and ran to
the enemy line. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong. I never be a man or be a
soldier. But, every man is human. So as
I. So as them. I kept run to their side. I knew he’s calling my name. But,
all he needs is the win, not me.
There I saw, the man with the great
cap and shine iron suit, sat at the horse. He’s the leader. I heard his men
shouted about me coming. I also heard they will shoot me. I don’t care. As he said, soldier will not surrender.
“Abby!” The last time I heard his
voice and I got shot. Something inside of me was bleeding. I’ve come so far and
I thought I could just bring him home. But,
it was me who might never come back home.
Suddenly, I woke up and I’m not
dead. I was inside the helicopter. There’s no way a helicopter saved my life.
The country has no helicopter nor the modern technology. And, I saw the men,
both of men. It might be a cross life.
“Tom?” Tom was dead. He looked at me, I was laying on mattress. “Is that you?”
“Abby, I’m here.” He came to me.
He held my hand, as my skin could touch his. Tom is alive. It’s not real.
“I want Rover,” I started to awake,
“Rover!” I shouted.
“I’m here.” I saw Rover standing
right next to Tom. I try to reach him. Rover just keep standing. He looked
away.
“Rover, she’s asking for you.” Said
Tom. Tom asked Rover to exchange place with him. Tom just suddenly back to his
place, and Rover sat next to me.
I right away hold his hand, “You’re
alive.”
“Yes,” He smiled, “I did as you
told me, and we ran to the uphill. And, we’re waiting the soldiers to bring us
home. I’m sorry, Abby. I was lost. If I just not losing my mind, and,”
“This is not our war.” I told him. He
silent for a while.
“Yes, this is not our war.” He
kissed my cheek, “Rest, Abby. We’re going home.”
“Nothing will set us apart,
anymore.” Even if Tom’s alive.
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