Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Worst Satisfaction

Alexandra Marrow is diagnosed of cancer, the year she met Jim Walter. Keyes found Lexy still come to the company clinic and find the result. She didn’t say anything or to anyone. But, Keyes knew it. So, he decided to take care of her. A month ago, she got the result of how much longer she will live. Keyes knew the day will come and he also broken heart, but he let Lexy chose her own life.

It was real. Lexy loved Keyes, but she knew the relationship is not going to be work out. The night Keyes and Lexy had a fight on the boat, it’s because Keyes didn’t like Lexy fan-girling side to Brandon Lee. It’s also came from Brandon Lee found Lexy is too wild of imaginations and thoughts of be a fangirling. No man loves the woman fangirling.

Until she met Jim Walter, a good friend.

Lexy scared of everything. She even scared to say goodbye to everyone, so she decided to leave from anything. But, knowing Jim Walter came to her place, she felt something. She didn’t know. It’s just this feeling, things that she always fail to achieve. And, there’s Jim Walter care to take care of her. Without questions. She didn’t want to make any assumptions. So, she thought she could live like this. But, Jim wondered and he found it.

But, on Jim parents house, they already knew first, they found Lexy medicines. Lexy asked Jim parents to not tell Jim right away.

Jim thought what Lexy said was all lied and acts. He brought Lexy home, but he went alone again, to somewhere else. He came to Keyes company clinic. He asked for Lexy’s file. Jim was not Lexy relatives and Jim made the scene. Keyes was there and found Jim, he brought Jim to his office.
“We’re playing act on the stage. And, we just made up both couple love story, that in the end everyone dies. My character died because the sinking ship killed me, to save her.”
“Jack story.”
“And, she, she chose to die by cancer.”
Keyes went silent.
“Tell me it isn’t real. Tell me I was wrong.”
Keyes back silent. Jim mad and bragged the table, he came to Keyes and almost choke him.
“I’m sorry!”

On home, Lexy sat on the living room, she chatted with Jim’s mother.
“I guess he found the truth, Ma’am.”
“Alexandra, you’re such a nice woman.”
“I’m sorry, Ma’am. I don’t want to hurt your son. He’s such a good friend. And I fond him so much. He’s such a great actor and so handsome. To be his friend and get all of this kindness from him, I don’t know how reply them back. But, I must leave.”
“You don’t need. It’s just, really the first time, my son introduce a girl and ask to live with us. We thought, this woman must be a special person to him.”
“He must love this woman very much.”
Lexy cried. Jim’s mother smiled and hugged her.
“Do you love him?”
“I love him with all my heart.”
“Then, stay for him.”

Jim Walter back home and found Lexy already asleep. The mother asked Jim if there’s something he wants to talk about, but Jim said,”I’m fine, Mother. We will take Alexandra to the hospital, tomorrow.”

Jim Walter took off from his job and took care of Lexy health. Lexy didn’t argue or anything, everyone now, knows. Lexy family really sad to find the news because Lexy’s mother also died with the same illness.

Norah Jane heard the news and told Brandon Lee. Brandon was sad, he send the bucket of flowers and card, because he couldn’t go there. Norah by herself sent it to Lexy. Lexy thanked. Norah said, “I’m so glad you’re with Jim Walter. He’s good for you than Brandon.” Lexy just laughed, she didn’t mean of Brandon was a bad person. Lexy said, “I always fond of Brandon Lee.” Norah said, “You’re such a good fan.”

For once, Jim didn’t know what to do. Lexy started to lose her hair, her skins torn out, and she’s getting weak. Lexy family knew Jim might not ready with Lexy condition, so they told Jim to not thinking about it too much.

There’s this one morning, Lexy sat near the window of her room. Lexy looks so white. Jim came in and they chatted.
“You look so pale.”
“Am I?”
“Do you miss the stage play, Alexandra?”
“Of course.”
“You know today Jane Austen stage play after party, they wish you could come.”
“Should I?”
“You should. You want to come?”
“Is this why you come so early?”
“We can go shopping.”

That evening, everyone’s coming. The kindergarten’s friends and the children, Santi Praditya, Brandon Lee, Keyes,Ace, Norah, Lexy family, Jim parents, and all stage play performers. Full of crowds and Lexy was really happy. Jim left Lexy for a while, he walked around the party then he just came to Lexy. Jim kneel down and asked her to marry him. For once, it was the saddest thing ever happen to see. No one deserves such unfortunate love story in their life. Including for Jim Walter, such a young great star. Lexy looked at Jim, that’s everyone fan’s dream, the superstar they love asked them to marry. Lexy also couldn’t break people’s heart, so she said, “Yes.”

But, on the way home, they chatted on the car, they both sat back seats while there’s driver drove. They both on private limo.
“Do you really know, what I want, Jim?”
“I think I know, what I really want, now.”
“What is it?”
“I want to live.”
There’s the moment that Jim almost crying. He’s happy to hear it.
“I want you to live more than anything.”
“I will get better.”
“You should.”
“So, I want you to back to your work.”
“All of your fans miss you. Isn’t that sad, you’re jobless?”
“You are still funny.”
“And, I will get better.”
“I want to be with you, always.”
“Don’t be such a lazy actor!”
Jim laughed.

Jim brought Lexy back to the hospital.
“I have this thing.”
“Your next red carpet, I will be there.”
“Yes.Promise.Promise me something, then.”
“What promise?”
“I will work so hard, to be your date on next carpet. What you do, then?”
“Well, how about I will make sure, I won something for you.”
“You’re really need work very hard.”
“Yeah, right.”
So, that’s how the night ends. By the moment, Jim went out from the room, he cried for the first time. As what Lexy father ever said to him, there something about Lexy that no matter how hard the life is, and how broken she was, she still shows people to keep fighting, to be tough.

That year, Jim Walter returns, he won the movie award. Ace worked so hard to make Jim get that role. It was really a great role. The movie called,If You Listen. Jim played as a fictional diplomat heroic who used to love be alone, but suddenly he came to the country, poor country, with their guns and bomb issues. Jim’s role was a changing man from cold person turns out be remember as the most funny man. It’s really a breath-taking movie because there’s a war scenes and Jim’s role almost got killed. The ending, people cried because Jim’s role loss his best friend but that’s the real moment when Jim really laughed, laugh as what his best friend wants him to be.

On the red carpet premiere, Jim Walter didn’t come. Lexy was on fever. It’s quiet sad but Jim wants to stay with Lexy. That red carpet didn’t count.

Until, the annual event of movie award, Jim called Lexy that he got nominated for the movie. On the red carpet annual event, Lexy was there. She made it. Her hair already longer. People also stunning to see how Lexy turned very beautiful. The whole world spread the news, how Jim Walter, the young handsome world actor, fell in love with his beloved fan, his being good friend, and also his own unfortunate illness, to see his woman dying. But, the woman survived and that was the most great night for Jim Walter. He won the award. He gave the honor to Alexandra Marrow. There’s even a footage of Lexy just pour down so many tears but smile. The last words, people also crowd, he said, “Let’s get married!”

On that night, they both chatted.
“We now can go holiday. Pick anywhere we want to go!”
“Strangest place even. As long as we go together.”
“I know.”
“And, let’s get married there.”
“Jim, what if I die, suddenly?”
“Don’t say that.”
“The marriage is like, forever.”
“My love to you is forever.”
“Grow old, together.”
“But still pretty and handsome old couple.”
“It will hurts you when I’m gone.”
“No, it won’t.”
“You will be so sad and ruin your whole life.”
“I won’t.”
“It will be a very short marriage.”
“A short happy marriage.”
“I won’t even get older with you.”
Jim almost cried. But, he hid his face. Lexy was already pour down some tears. Jim right away whispered, “I just want to have marry with you. That’s all.” Jim kissed Lexy’s cheek. “Alright,” she said, “Alright.” Jim also wiped those tears and smiled to Lexy.
“Let’s see. I’m famous, really famous, now. So, don’t worry. It’s not only you who being broken heart to see me sad. Now, there’s a lot of fans will cry for me. Some fans will broken heart to see us married. And, when you’re gone, those fans will happy again. Just me be single again.”
“That’s the worst explanation, ever.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you happy?”
“While you’re around, I want to be the happiest man in the world.”
“Do you still keep in touch with your used long-relationship girlfriend, you know, that girl that you once introduce me?”
“Oh yes, Rayu Tian.”
“Is she still alone? Single?”
“Yes, I hope.”
“If I’m gone. You can be with her. I like her.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
“Or anyone else, as long as you love her the same you love me.”
“I will.”

Both of them were married. And, it last for almost 7 years. It was a great marriage. It just one morning day, Jim didn’t know, it just happened. Jim woke up but he didn’t get up from bed. He stared at Lexy, she slept so peace, she died while her asleep. She was 36 years old.

Worst Satisfaction is the ending. Whether you like it or not.


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