Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Sick Alluring

It’s been six months after the Japan tour. Lexy came to watch the premiere of movie, “Modern Saloon.” Modern Saloon was the movie about a man, from the past time, trying to jump from Manhattan bridge for suicide. But, suddenly, he’s not death but he arrived to the future of Manhattan. He met a woman who trying to jump from the bridge, and the man saved her. From that time, the man being introduced with the woman’s family. It turns out the woman’s family is rich  because they owned great night clubs but the woman, pretty girl was mental illness. The story is simply about how the woman being loved by people around her but the woman just never care. It represented the man’s feeling as the person who also trying to kill himself. The climax was when the man fell in love with the woman, but the woman couldn’t even notice because she’s insane. There was the moment of one night, the woman realized how much the man love her, that made her for several minutes or hours, she recognized the man. The man thought the woman is cured. But, on the morning, the woman just hang herself. She died poison herself. It was almost a sick ending for Lexy. The man didn’t get the woman’s mind. He turned mad and break things. He cried so hard and the acting moved Lexy’s heart. Lexy watched the movie not because the man actor but because of the woman actress, Akira Hana. The ending of the movie, the man back to the bridge, he almost jump, but someone saved him. He’s being pulled and fell to the road of bridge. He realized, he just back to his real past time. He’s back. The old officer saved him telling him how stupid that was. For the man, it’s been a long journey. He cried a lot, the old officer just hugged him. Modern Saloon means the man later became the succesful owner of saloon in Manhattan and turns out, the place was the woman’s family also had the night club. In the future, one of the woman’s relative realized the man was from the past.

Lexy was mixed with so many fans on the red carpet. Luckily, Lexy met the best fan of the man actor, Santi Praditya. Santi helped Lexy to get the first line of fans boot so they can get a photograph, a signed poster, and get closer. They chatted while waiting.
“The movie was amazing! I thought it will be a bad ending.”
“I know! Do you like Jim Walter act?”
“Yes! Tell me more about him, Santi!”
“Well. He’s a british man, graduated from economy school. He was nominated last year for his leading actor performance on the stage play.”
“No way! I was there on the event!”
“You don’t know him?”
“No, I was there for another superstar, Brandon Lee.”
“Yeah, he won the award. It’s his come-back year to be on the stage play, ever since his wife incident, right?”
“Yes. But, I believe Jim Walter must be an excelent stage actor.”
“He is actually a stage actor. This is his first debut movie.”
“Amazing! I came here for Akira Hana, you know. I saw her last year in Japan.”
“You did? Wow! You must have great connection to be on that special occasion. I envy you!”
“NO! I envy you, you know Jim Walter better than me!”
On that meet and greet, Lexy and Santi got the photograph. Santi really want to stand next to Jim Walter. Lexy, on the other hand, really hard to keep Santi save from another fans that also try the same thing as what Santi wants. It’s because Santi was a small person while most of the state persons, especially girls, normally taller than Santi. Lexy also wants to stand next to Akira Hana. But, she couldn’t get a chance. Lexy stood behind Santi, she pulled the fan who already stand next to Jim Walter before Santi. Then, she pushed Santi to front. Suddenly, Jim Walter already shared smile and little chat with Santi. On the picture, it’s only Lexy forehead that being captured. But, Lexy got a chance to shaken hands and asked for sign from both of artists.

A month later, Lexy is still a kindergarten teacher. She got a task to bring her class students to the stage play tour. People from the stage building knew Lexy very well, after the scene of her with Brandon Lee. Even though, Brandon Lee was never return to that stage play anymore. He’s too busy to make lots of movies. Lexy being introduced by the building manager to the upcoming performance rehearsal, and that time, the only famous person on the building was Jim Walter. Jim Walter was just enjoying his spare time after a long conference tour of Modern Saloon movie. His home was that stage play. Lexy recognized Jim Walter. She wants to talk about how much fond she is to him, but she’s working on that time, so she tried her best to control her feelings. Jim Walter and all performers on that rehearsal played with the children and it was great time. Until, it’s time to nap time. The children slept on the stage. It’s really cute.

Lexy said thank you to everyone and while they were all on resting, Jim Walter came to her. They chatted.
“So, you are Alexandra Marrow?”
“Yes. It’s a strange feeling to be recognized.”
“No. Don’t be. Do you like stage play?”
“Oh, yes. Stage play,it feels more closer with all famous people rather than seeing on movies. And I could see the real fresh acting. Like, I was there when the artist really laugh, or mad, or angry, or even cry.”
“Have you play on stage?”
“A dancer. Contemporary dancer. I used to be a ballet dancer. But, I just don’t have a fit body, and there’s the substitute. It’s really a great dance. I felt free.”
“Great to know.”
“I like your debut movie. Modern Saloon.”
“You watched it?”
“Yes. I came to the premiere. I never knew you until that premiere. I met one of you fans, and she told me everything about you. The movie really a great hit. International gross.”
“Thank you. You came to the premiere? Have we met?”
“Yes. Shaking hands and you signed the poster. Also the photographed.”
“I am so sorry to forget you. Many people there.”
“That’s alright. You are really deserved those crowd. People love you.”
“Thank you. I did remember there’s an asian girl. So different from others. She’s so beautiful. I remember she didn’t get a chance to stand next to me but later a woman just gave her that spot. That’s quiet rare.”
“That’s my friend! Santi Praditya! She’s really your big fan. Yes, she’s kind of an exotic woman.”
“Where were you on that photograph?”
“Oh. I got the spot behind her. On the picture, all you could see was my forehead. I guess.”
“You are funny.”
“It is such an honor to meet you, Mr. Walter.”
“Call me Jim, Alexandra.”
“Well, nobody ever try to call my whole name.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Sure.”
“You know, Alexandra, how about if I can introduce you with friend of mine, I guess you can help them be one of the dancer?”
“Do you really mean that?”
“Yes.”

Jim Walter knew Lexy from the moment he saw her in Japan, that’s the reason he wants to get closer with her. He wondered why she could be so close with Brandon Lee. Lexy was so happy for the opportunity she just got. She got the background dancer for the stage play, Hairspray. It was really fun time. Even, her class students came to see the play. The news also being heard by Brandon Lee. Brandon Lee also watched the video footage. He missed Lexy, so he just flight off back to the state.

Brandon Lee came to the after party of the stage play. He found Lexy and congratulated her. Jim Walter saw it and he got more curious. Jim Walter introduced himself to Brandon Lee that night, as a friend of Lexy. Lexy told Brandon about how Jim Walter is the one who helped her got the part. The relationship between Brandon Lee and Lexy was already being normal as friendship. But, still, Lexy never forgot for being kissed by one of her favorite most superstar. For Brandon Lee, he just never know what’s Lexy really want. Brandon Lee and Jim Walter talked.
“What do you see on Alexandra?”
“Alexandra?”
“I love to call her the whole name.”
“I see you both close. How is she?”
“She’s a decent person. She’s great dancer.”
“She’s still beautiful. She already looks like a celebrity.”
“Well, her personality really alluring. Love kids, never judge people, and welcome to all.”
“She’s romantic.”
“Really? I envy you. To see her romantic side. Every time I spend days with her, she always make silly jokes, lots of talks, a funny girl.”
“Silly, funny, that’s how you see her?”
“Well, that’s how I always like her.”
“Always. I guess you know her so well.”
“Yes, we’re good friends. It’s very rare to find the truth your relationship with her is actually short. I thought there’s something further after the Japan tour.”
“Oh, yeah. You were there, right? So, you saw her with the kimono gown? She’s really pretty.”
“Yes.”
“Is she your date tonight?”
“No. She came to the party with someone else.”
“Oh, I know him. That’s Keyes Lane. I heard his engagement just called off. So, he back with Lexy?”
“No. She said he just her escort.”
“That is really sick. Keyes and Lexy used to be lover. I met them in Venice. That man brought the woman he loved to make her dream comes true. So, there must be a side story besides be an escort of Alexandra Marrow tonight.”
“I didn’t know.”
“Well, who’s your girl tonight?”
“No one.”
“Are you single?”
“Yes. It’s better, I mean, with lots of movies I just got, so many nude and sex.”
“Yeah, right. Did Lexy ever bother with those things? Your new job?”
“No. I mean, she saw my first debut movie and she was fine. I guess she will be fine with anothers.”
“Well, in case you not yet knowing. Lexy, she seeing people like me as someone that she just adore but not love. A very rare case. That’s one of the reason why our relationship didn’t work out. The moment she found you be someone like me, she will change. Friends, indeed. But, the way she will look at you, it’s just changing. Never judge, you said?”
“So, she’s just like any other normal woman.”
“What, you’ve been there, too?”
“Yes. My girlfriend broke up with me after I told her about the nude and sex scene I shall make for Modern Saloon.”
“So, it’s common.”
“It’s normal.”
“Agree to disagree. I heard you came for just this one special party. You will fly again to the movie set, right?”
“Yes.”
“You know, it’s really great to see you close with Lexy. I mean, I don’t know if she back with Keyes or not, but, she’s a smart girl. She reminds me of Mara.”
“So, that’s true of how she made you feel you with Mara, again?”
“No. She’s different. Lexy... is like a wild card. Unexpected.”
“And Mara?”
“She’s my wife.”
“Did you move on?”
“I thought I could.”
“I don’t mean to bring things up.”
“It’s alright. Just be good to Lexy, alright.”
“Sure.”

After the party, Jim didn’t get a chance to say good bye with Lexy. He already gone to another states. On Jim’s brithday, he got a greeting video footage from his good friends of stage play performers. Including Lexy. Lexy said she wished Jim could get back home on new year’s eve party. What makes Jim paid attention to Lexy, bcause Lexy became kind of skinny. She supposed to be kind of fat. So, Jim video called her. It’s true, she looked skinny.
“How are you, Alexandra?”
“I’m fine. How was your day?”
“Acting all the way through.”
“Funny!”
“Are you sure there’s nothing happened? You look more skinny.”
“A diet?”
“Oh, you’re on diet? For what?”
“To fit with my next costume.”
“You got another play?”
“It’s Chicago, Jim! I love Chicago! You should really watch it, this time!”
“Sure! Great to you. That’s a great news. Alexandra?”
“Yes, Jim?”
“May I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Will you change if I become famous?”
“You are famous.”
“Am I different from people like you?”
“You mean, me as your fan?”
“Tell me about it.”
“Fans? Well, of course. Fans, they are mean and greedy. We all the same. We thought you, a celebrity we love, in our dream, we thought you could be ours alone, but actually, we are the one who never gets enough to just love one celebrity. We will love just one time then there’s another shows up, we love the new ones more than old ones. Like greedy treasure hunters. Or like when you saw me at the bakery. I will pick all beautiful sweet things to buy. Eat the all no matter how full my stomach or how jolly my teeth. I just want them all.”
“You are funny.”
“You’re welcome.”
“But, is that how you see me, Alexandra?”
“Well, Me? I don’t know. For some reasons, you are a public figure. I’m just a silly person. I won’t ever fit.”
“Great silly.”
“Yes, sure!”
“But, that’s the way I want you to be. Who you really want to be. You are my friend.”
“You are also my friend, Jim.”
“Don’t feel if you don’t fit with me.”
“Alright. Thanks, Jim.”
“Because we’re friends. Would you like to be my date for my next premiere movie?”
“Really?”
“Yes!”

Lexy was so exciting. It was a month before new year’s eve. Lexy flew to the premiere event and she wore an exotic gown from Dior. People were stunning. People thought Lexy was with Jim. But, both of them explained to the press they are friends. While the first screening premiere, they both chatted. For Lexy, the movie was very unpleasent.
“I have no idea how to express my feeling.”
“How was it?”
“Well, I can assure, now, that you’re really good in bed.”
“Mock me, not?”
“It is true, Jim. I can see after this, all of your fans will see how sexy you are and romantic. All fans will see you as the symbol of sex or something.”
“As you know, I never met the women I need to have the scenes before the shooting. Also, no further relationship. It feels like one night stand.”
“Sure.”
“What do you think of my character?”
“I’m in love with you, right away.”
“But?”
“What? I didn’t say anything exceptional.”
“This is very alluring, right?”
“Yes, yes. By that mean, you mean erotically?”
“You must has some exceptional thoughts! Tell me!”
“Well, I am your friend, right?”
“Yes. Shoot me.”
“Alright. I can say this movie is weird. If there’s no emergency I choose to watch it never again.”
“Why?”
“It looks cheap. Non sense cheap. For what kind of reason director ask people to do such things?”
“You hate it?”
“With all due respect.”
“Thank you for your honesty. In that case, Alexandra, I promise not to take movie job like this genre, ever again.”
“What? Don’t be silly.”
“I don’t want you to see me that way. Ever again.”
“Is it because I said the movie was cheap?”
“Yes?”
“Well, you asked me.”
“It hurts you, isn’t?”
“It is your job. There’s no such things that hurts me.”
“I promise this is the last time I did such erotic non sense cheap movie.”
“Jim, it’s alright. People will appreciates the movie. And believe me, the plot is great. Everyone will respect your acting. Also, you are handsome, smart person, people never said things like I just did. I just, it’s not my movie genre. You know?”
“I know. Are we still friend?”
“Oh, Dear.”
Lexy kissed Jim’s cheek.
“There. Are you happy, now?”
“Don’t ever change, then.”

Of course, it effected the look of Jim in Lexy’s side. Jim could see it. Ace found the look of Jim that not happy after both of them drove Lexy to the airport. Ace said, “Are you already miss her, Jim? It’s alright. I will make sure you both get a chance to be together on new year’s eve.”

Lexy was sick on new year’s eve. She coughed and snoozing. But, she tried to look better in front of Jim. But, she didn’t want Jim got the virus so she looked draw herself at that night from Jim. Jim came with a date, co-star from the movie. It’s very common because it’s a month after the premiere, they’re still on promotion schedule. But, Jim never went any further relationship with the girl. To see Lexy drawn herself from him made Jim thinking she’s changing. Exactly like what Brandon Lee said. But, it was great evening for Lexy. Lexy knew Jim would come, so she invited Santi Praditya to the party. Santi was so amazed how Jim recognized her. Jim even joked about how Santi looks pretty but sadly Santi brought her boyfriend to the party. Santi made Lexy got closer with Jim that evening. Jim glad Lexy was not see him such offensive or different ways. It’s just Lexy never want to sit closer with him.

There’s a tradition of new year’s eve kiss. Jim decided to save the kiss for Lexy. On the count-down on 30, Jim looking of Lexy. Jim didn’t find Lexy when the count-down was over. 10 minutes later, Jim found Lexy washed the dishes. Jim called her name and Lexy turned around. He face looked wet and red. Jim thought she was crying. The truth, Lexy was sick. She almost struggled with her sore throat and snoozing all night long, so she was just too much coughing and snoozing. Lexy stopped cough and snooze before Jim came to the kitchen. “I was on flu, in case you’re wondering.” Lexy made Jim laughed. For once, Jim believed Lexy was crying for no reason. It moved him. Jim helped Lexy with the dishes because Jim said if Lexy do the dishes, there won’t be any clean dishes. Both of them spend the new year’s eve by chat in the kitchen. Jim also gave her a flu syrup. Lexy got sleepy, and he let her sleep on his arm. Jim also fell asleep, right away. Both of them slept until the day. Their friends captured their sleeping moments. It was a cute photo. Suddenly, all internet news report the photo. Most of the internet viewers wondering who’s the woman, others already knew who’s Lexy, others thought they’re really great and sweet couple. There’s no bad critics.

Ace was so happy to see the internet viewers responded. As always, Jim should fly again to the promotion schedule. Jim wants to say good bye, but he found Lexy, at the kindergarten workplace, with Keyes. They seemed fought. Jim felt it might be the news thing. Jim remembered how Keyes called off the engagement and Lexy never stop seeing him. So, Jim, left them both. What Lexy and Keyes fighting about are,
“Leave me, Keyes!”
“You are sick! You still use the company clinic. The doctor told me about your condition. If I not found this result then I will feel bad! You shouldn’t keep it secret!”
“Don’t feel bad! It’s not your concern!”
“Mother knew how much I care about you!”
“OH, help me God.”
“Tell me what to do, to help you.”
“Nothing. Don’t do anything. It is better, now.”
“You can’t do that. You leave you real job, be alone, what? Do you want to say an early goodbyes?”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Keyes.”
“Why you hate me so much?”
“I don’t hate you.”
“Then, don’t push me away anymore. You never give me chances to let me come back to you. Explain the real things.”
“I don’t know, Keyes. I just don’t know. I just, I just don’t know how to respond our break up.”
“It’s alright. I know, it’s my fault.”
“Well, don’t hate me.”
“I never hate you. I miss you, Lexy.”
“Me, too.”

So, that’s how the real conversation of them both. The news spread so fast. Keyes as the businessman, being noticed with the off engagement, and there’s no time to dig back the past relationship, and there’s Lexy story. Jim watched the news. To see Lexy seemed not interest to him, he started to seeing someone. This time, it’s his old girlfriend, Rayu Tian. Rayu Tian has changed. She’s fine with Jim’s screen job thing. Jim and Lexy met again on after party for Chicago stage play. This time, Lexy was all alone. It’s quiet awkward for Jim, introducing Rayu Tian to Lexy. But, Lexy never bothered with the relationship. They also chatted.
“How was your day?”
“How was your day, Alexandra?”
“Just, something, something bit of love.”
“Funny. Trolls from Frozen.”
“Jim, I heard your next movie, will be with Brandon Lee.”
“Oh, you heard?”
“What’s the movie about?”
“Sex.”
“As usual.”
“Hey, I promise you I will not do the cheap one. I promise.”
“Sure. I remember.”
“So, are you going to see it?”
“If you there, too. I won’t watch the porn movie alone.”
“You are funny. I heard you usually go to clinic.”
“Who said that?”
“I just wondering if you sick.”
“Well, nothing’s to be worry about. I don’t smoke, less drink, and always be healthy single.”
“Single?”
“Why? Don’t mock me, Jim. There’s always good reason for someone being single.”
“I thought you’re with someone.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know.”
“I will tell you if I get one.”
“You are so funny.”

But, in Jim Walter’s heart, it’s very alluring moment. He found Lexy never be with anyone else. He thought he could get the chance. It just Lexy sickness, Jim got a hint of something’s being secret from him.

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