Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Odd Affection

Jim Walter, a new superstar. He was just late to be famous, he was 32 years old. He was a stage play actor, the same thing as Brandon Lee. He was being famous because he was nominated for his last stage play, Secrets, as one of the best leading actor. But, it turns out the winner was Brandon Lee. Jim Walter’s manager, Ace Sullivan, he got the right job for Jim Walter to support his famous. He played a movie, his first movie, international movie, festival movie competition, British-Japan crossing love story. He’s not famous, that time. But, he flew to Japan, to meet his co-star, Akira Hana.

Jim Walter was on the same hotel with Brandon Lee, including Lexy. Jim Walter came with his long-time relationship girlfriend, Rayu Tian. Jim Walter has a taste for Asian women. Jim Walter was on the lobby with his manager and the group of Brandon Lee arrived. It’s quick because the press chasing them. But, Jim walter caught the strange, it was Lexy. Jim asked his manager if Lexy was the fan of Brandon Lee who being exposed, and Ace remembered. Both of them knew Brandon Lee brought the girl to Japan. They never told anyone because it looks like nobody notice or even being exposed on news.

Lexy got the same room with Brandon Lee staffs, but the room was changed into Luxury famiy room, and Lexy got the main bed room than others. Brandon Lee’s manager, Norah Jane, came to Lexy room, and they chatted.
“What should I do? I don’t want to make any troubles. If you want me to back home and buy the ticket by my own, I agree.”
“No, no. Don’t be silly. Think about it’s your winning something, golden ticket. Have a great vacation with your superstar.”
“Well, I’m not think that way, actually. Brandon Lee is very handsome and all-women dream’s boyfriend. But, I need to go home.”
“Why? You looked nice. I know you. You’re the girl who Brandon met at Venice with another man. A millionaire, right? What’s his name? Oh, Keyes Lane.”
“Nobody knows that. It was just a business trip. Now, he’s engaged.”
“Well, at least you’re not an ordinary fan of Brandon Lee.”
“You should be aware, right? It was all just coincidences. Now,I’m poor. It was long time ago.”
“Then, why you insist back home if you don’t have any money.”
“I can’t be here. I have job and I don’t pack anything, my things. They’re all important.”
“It will be fine. You can get them here, just ask me if you need anything. It’s just two weeks in Japan. By the way, you are going to be his date for any occasions, right now. You are lucky. We will make you beautiful every day.”
“I’m blushing. But, I don’t fit with Brandon Lee.”
“You should. Even though, you will be just another woman, that’s all. See, it’s nothing you should be worry about. Enjoy your vacation. The stylish will come by 4, so just rest.”

For a moment, Lexy realized she’s too hyper for thinking she’s kind of important. As Norah said, she’s just another woman. So, she started to get rest. The stylish came by 4 and she was became an Asian princess, with gorgeous kimono gown. Lexy saw herself in the mirror, and for once, she forgot the whole things that made her there.

It was an evening ball and Jim Walter with his girlfriend were there. They saw Brandon Lee came with beautiful woman. Lexy was not Asian, but her face, she had an oriental look, and it caught by Jim Walter. Both of them never got a chance to greet one another because Brandon Lee very busy to keep Lexy happy. Lexy was not happy that night evening, even thoush she loved her gown and her look. She’s just so shy and couldn’t make any conversation with others. Brandon Lee and Lexy sat on the table and chatted.
“You are beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“People looking at you, Lexy.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t say something like I have the same fit with you.”
“It is true. You are more beautiful than my wife.”
“No. I can’t compete with your beautiful wife.”
“You are. You’re not like others, trying to seduce me. You’re kind and honest. I know, Lexy, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just, never met anyone else so different ever since my wife died.”
“Your last partner, co-star on the stage play, Miss  marine Dans. Is she not your last date?”
“Yes. She’s charming and fun. The same age as my wife. A stunning star.”
“People love both of you together.”
“But, I saw you, the whole evening nights. I fell to you, not her. How you adored me and, I just adore you, too.”
“It’s nothing. I’m just fan. All fans will do the same thing.”
“But, I know you.”
“No. You don’t know me.”
Lexy looked at Lee, she said, “For some reasons, you will see the true me, you will be boring just like another women. Just same as Keyes, I even don’t know who I am.” Lee realized Lexy still into Keyes.

Lexy saw Rayu Tian, she’s so calm and warm, next to the quiet handsome man. Lexy just didn’t know who’s that man. Later, she saw that man talked with Akira Hana, the most favorite actress she loves from Japan. She realized, her feelings made her blind for people around her. It’s exactly the same situation on Venice Movie Festival. Brandon Lee asked, “What can I do to comfort you?” Then Lexy said it. She wants to be introduced to people, all famous people at the party, that she loves. So, Lee did it. Norah was with both of them all the time, and Lexy was actually a great person, knew herself. She got introduced but she just want to listen they’re chatting. Lexy asked secretly to Norah if she could capture some pictures while Lexy get close with them all.

Brandon Lee didn’t like it. It seems Lexy use him. After the party, Brandon Lee just went silent. Lexy also not bothered. But, on next morning, Brandon Lee decided to take Lexy go the movie set. He thought he could make Lexy see him more, because he knew Lexy loves to see him on acting. But, what Lexy did, she was star strucked by co-star of the movie, Ryo Jin. On the set, Ryo Jin also good to all people. Lexy, her innocent made Ryo Jin likes her around. Even though they’re not talking, because Lexy couldn’t speak japanese, but Ryo Jin noticed her. It feels like a dream came true. Lexy knew Ryo Jin since his debut. It feels different likeness with Brandon Lee, even though Lexy got more intimacy with Brandon Lee, but there’s always a bigger love for Ryo Jin. The last hour of that day because Lexy knew it might be her last chance to meet Ryo Jin, she hugged him so tight. It really made Brandon Lee so jealous.

Brandon Lee was mad, that on the car, just two of them, they chatted.
“How you can’t control yourself? Why you’re seeing someone else?”
“You’re not the only superstar that I adore.”
“How long do you adore that Japanese actor?”
“Since I was in high school. Since his debut.”
“How long do you know me?”
“Since your third movie.”
“Is it different affection?”
“No. The way I happy to see him just as same as I met you for the first time at Venice. What you did, it was so romantic.”
“Why you adoring me from the first place?”
“I fell in love with your character on your third movie. I wish I could be the secretary character. She’s not your girlfriend on the movie but you trust her and you both were great companion.”
“In real life, I had sex with her.”
“Oh, really?”
“Are you sorry?”
“Well, yes. It’s odd, now.”
“Yes. How about the moment you kept seeing me on stage play?”
“I adore your natural acting. Like, I saw who you really are. The fragile and the strength. I love you.”
“Then, here I am. Then love me.”
“Why should I? I’m just a fan.”
“I’m falling in love with you.”
“I’m falling in love with people like you every day. Don’t you realize it? I will get bored and I will forget you. Then, I will love another superstar more than you.”
“Is that the way you love me?”
“That’s how all fans love the superstar. I mean, I love you, but this relationship, it’s odd. It will be odd for me. What you do, it’s okay to be intimate with different women as long as if it’s acting. But, I’m human being. I couldn’t stand with that.”
“If that’s what you want, I can stop to do that.”
“You will do that for me?”
“I love you as human being.”
“Please, stop telling me of loving me. Of course you love me. I just show the right way of fans love their superstar.”
“Is this not real love to you?”
Brandon Lee kissed Lexy. Lexy was blushing. Her emotion just blown up. She’s being kissed by a superstar. It was so amazing.

The moment they arrived. They got out from the car and Norah saw how both of them grabbing hands together. Lexy smiled so bright. Norah knew Brandon Lee won her heart.

In the morning, Jim Walter and Ace have breakfast. They chatted.
“I was talking last night, with Rayu. She didn’t want me to have nude or sex scene with Akira Hana.”
“Do you break up with her?”
“Yes, she just took the first flight this morning.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“That’s alright.”
“Okay. Are you alright?”
“Of course. I’m fine.”
“It’s different world, Jim. On movie, you’re being paid for act anything, of course with my concerns and your approval. But, there must be a guts to do such things. Nude and sex.”
“Yes, I know.”
“It’s for your succesful. If you nailed with this movie, serious act, people will remember your debut movie. Like, forever. That’s amazing.”
“Yes. It’s just a nerve, you know. In my career.”
“You’ll be fine. By the way, did you see that girl with Brandon Lee, last night?”
“She’s so different. So gorgeous.”
“So gorgeous. Is she officially dating Brandon?”
“I don’t know. I got no chance to meet greeting him.”
“That’s worth it, for me. He robbed your award as best leading actor on stage play. I mean, that’s harsh. You’re just this close to be on stage play history. Even your co-star won her leading actress.”
“That’s his time, Ace. His time.”
“I hate him.”
“I remembered his wife, she’s really great person.”
“Yes. Mara Close. What a great stage play producer. How sad of her incident.”
“Is the shooter being captured?”
“I didn’t know. It’s been long years.”
“I remembered how Mara and Brandon were such sweet seniors, helping people new like me, that time, to good on stage play.”
“Yes, yes. But, it’s really so tragic. To see Brandon Lee take another woman to Japan, their honeymoon place.”
“I think it never meant negative ways, Ace. It’s been long years. He should really move on, right?”

That issue also being pop out from Lexy’s mind and the reason for their both four days of happiness after the party, just ruined. It was afternoon. Both of them were enjoying the culture show of Geisha.
“Do you still remember the incident?”
“Every night. In my dream.”
“I am sorry.”
“Don’t be. She’s saving my life.”
“Of course. Did you know who’s the shooter?”
“No. It was a stage play of local war plot story. Everyone wore army customes and fake guns. It just happened. And, it should be me who being shot.”
“Do you think someone wants to shoot you?”
“Of course.”
“Of course not. If it’s for you, no matter that the shooting failed, the shooter will try to kill you, again.”
“How dare you!”
“I don’t mean to disapprove. I just curious.”
“You should not. Do you think someone’s really killed Mara?”
“I am sorry.”
“You should really try to keep your wild imagination thoughts shut.”
Brandon Lee bragged the table, stopped the show, and he just left Lexy. On the way back to hotel, Lexy cried a lot. She asked Norah to come back home, tomorrow.

In the morning, Brandon Lee knocked Lexy’s room. Lexy opened the door and Brandon Lee said, “I’m sorry. I have been so selfish. I... I will send you home.” Lexy saw Brandon Lee walked away from her door. Lexy closed the door and she simply knew it was her last moment of her dream. She’s ready to wake up. Lexy back to the state at linch time. She was all alone.

Norah didn’t like the way Brandon Lee sent Lexy home. It’s not gentleman, at all. They chatted.
“That’s not how a famous person do for his fan.”
“She’s not a fan. She’s more than that.”
“But, you sent away home like she’s nothing. Is it because of Mara?”
“Can we stop talk about it? Please.”
“You’re the one who asked her, no, forced her came here. For what reason? Forget Mara. It’s been long years, I thought the relationship was real.”
“I know.”
“Don’t you feel sorry for what you just did?”
“She made me, Norah!”
“But, why? I saw four days ago, you both looks like a honeymoon married couple!”
“She made me! Don’t you see, it’s hard for me, too!”
Norah felt bad because Brandon Lee face turned red. Norah let him colding. Then, she started again.
“Is she the one, Brandon?”
“She could be.”
“Well, but you choose to dump her?”
“No, she dumped me, first.”
“Oh. I didn’t know.”
“She told me about love for her is make someone the most person she ever loved than anyone in the world.”
“And what your respond?”
“I never love her as I love Mara.”
“Is that why she dumped you?”
“No. There’s something else.”
“Can’t tell?”
“I don’t really know her. She never let me. That’s all.”
“Alright. Are you okay?”
“Yes. She’s really great fan.”
“Yes. Brandon, I feel bad because I told her from the first time that she’s just another women like others, for you. You really love her, right?”
Brandon Lee didn’t answer that question.

For once in his life, the girl made him then said, “Let’s say, I love my work.”

For Lexy, on the place way to back home, she realized there’s no such thing as real love between fan and celebrity so romantic as what she hoped on movies. Lexy cried on that plane. She felt for being a failure. She was too dreamy. It’s her sickness, to be a fangirling. She failed with Keyes, she supposed to love that normal great man. She also failed with Brandon Lee, she wished for dreamy love. She just really broken heart.


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