Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Disclosure VI: Man and Wife

It was three months after the wedding. Dean as a new father, he decided not marry the mother of his child. It's on the news and her name is Nicole Amber. She's 18 years old, the only daughter of the professional music producer. They were met on a private night club. It was one night stand and later Dean got called. The producer called for the abortion. Dean was agreed but Nicola wanted to keep it. And, from there we already knew the story.

Three months of Believe's age, Dean and Nicole brought their baby girl flew to California, took a vacation. Dean has a big beach getaway house. Lots of media caught their pictures. When they're on a beach, or took lunch, and while they're on sailing. Those news also on the television news. One day, Lara was cooking on her house's kitchen, and her assistant, Sussie, accompany her, turned on the TV. Dean and Nicole news just came out. Sussie commented, "Do you know, Mrs. Gordon? They said the reason why Dean Friedrich still not marry Nicole Amber besides she's 18 years old, they said it's because he's gay."

Lara kept busy with her cook, dressing the fish, yet she replied, "I think it's very common around celebrities, Sussie. It doesn't mean he's gay." Lara's little bit laughed. Sussie said, "But, they also said it was Nicole who wants to keep the baby rather get abortion. Which means, the mother loves her baby, and she needs real husband to be with her. She's 18, she shouldn't be on that situation." Lara put the fish on the oven and asked, "What situation?" Sussie answered, "A young mother, around the public, and the father didn't want to marry her. She looks like a reality show, 18 and Pregnant. Not married." Lara watched the TV, how sweet the pictures of Dean and the baby, Nicole and the baby, and when they were all in a picture at once. Lara then responded, "They look happy. They are in love, right?" Sussie didn't answer right away, she ate something on the table, Lara looked at Sussie, "Sussie, what do you think?" Sussie just answered, "Oh, well, Mrs. Gordon, love grows everyday like flowers. There's time to bloom, to die, and bloom again. But, marriage means a commitment. Commitment whenever the love in bloom or die." Lara then asked, "Do you think they're afraid of commitment?" Sussie answered, "Yes. They need to learn sooner, no child wants any of their parents not marry to one another, or the baby will know that it's all start by her fault. She is the mistake." Lara then changed the topic, "Can Josh back home sooner, today?" Sussie said Josh was going to a dinner CEO's night ball. Lara asked, "Do you think I could come?" Sussie said, "Well, actually you've been expecting by everyone, Mrs. Gordon. Ever since Mr. Gordon married, he's kind of protective with your condition. I mean you look so fine but he seems scared to make you tired. It's been three months, I think you're ready to go to Mr. Gordon's business balls." Lara replied, "Thank you, Sussie." She found her fish already cooked and she let it out from the oven. Sussie expressed, "Yummie!"

Lara chose to come to that evening ball and surprising the whole nation and also, Josh. All the media just gave the whole attention to the new Lara Gordon. Lara wore a yellow gold silk gown and diamond necklace, that made her really glow. Because it was the evening event, all of her news just got hit on social media. Josh was stunning to see how beautiful her wife. The media asking Lara how's her condition and she answered, "I'm really great. I can walk, right now and I can go to several places. I join several housewife groups. Cooking, book club, charity, and gardening." People laughed. But, the most sweet thing was how Lara accompany Josh as a perfect wife. Lara looks smart and attractive woman on that night.

And, Dean saw it. Actually, his manager sent him a link of her news. On the evening, Believe was already asleep. Nicole put her on the crib and she went back to Dean's place, he was on the living room. Dean hid his phone and prepared the meal on the table. Dean smiled to Nicole and asked her to join with him for dinner. They were eating in silence. So, Dean started first, "Do you like the steak?"

Nicole said, "I saw your used-to lover was very pretty on tonight's gala." She kept eat the steak.

Dean didn't know how to response, "Who?"

Nicole answered, "Lara Gordon." She looked into Dean's eyes, "Don't you miss her? No ways you didn't know the news. It's been three months since her last news. She seemed very happy with her husband."

Dean just drank his wine, "I know." He ate the steak, "You jealous?"

Nicole got mad. She bragged the table and smashed the food on her plate to Dean, "I hate you! You know that? I hate you! I don't want to be here, anyways!"

Dean shouted, "What do you want, Nicole?!"

Nicole replied, "I don't know, Dean! Am I your sweetness wife? Am I something to you? Why am I here?"

Dean tried to clean the food which messing his look, "You are Believe's mother. You're here to take care of her."

Nicole shouted, "But it's all of your wants, your needs. The whole of this media public. I don't need it. You're the only one who need it, not me. Not Believe!"

Dean got up from the table, "I am sorry, then. We could just cancel the vacation, we could back home tomorrow."

Nicole started to cry, "I can't back to school, anyways. People will mock me. A mother of a child who's never get to marry because the father of the child loves another woman. Who's already married."

Dean mad, "Stop blaming me for your sad life!"

Nicole more cried, "You're even hate me! You don't love me! You just love the baby!"

Dean answered, "Well, you know what? You should be more grateful for I didn't left you. I'm a responsible father for Believe. I spend lots of money for your needs, Believe needs, and you live with your own house from me. The only thing that matters, now, is Believe's sake!"

Nicole threw out a plate to Dean, "I hate you!"

Dean suddenly came to Nicole and held both of her hands, "Stop it! Stop this lunatic thing!"

Nicole screamed, "Let me go! Let me go!"

Dean replied, "No! No! You are the mother! You should pull yourself together!"

Nicole screamed, "Take her, then! I don't want it! I don't want the baby!"

Dean asked, "What did you say?"

Nicole said again, "You love her better than me, then, marry that child!"

Dean gone mad, his voice turned louder, "Pull yourself together, Nicole!" That made Nicole stop talking. She just cried and shaken. Dean suddenly hugged her more tight, "Listen to me, " Nicole tried to push Dean away but Dean struggled, "Nicole, stop! Listen to me! Look at me!" Both of them face to one another, "I need you." He said it, "Believe needs you. She needs her mother."

Nicole cried, "I can't do this. I can't."

Dean put Nicole back to his arms, "Just, calm down. Yes, you can. Just calm down."  That moment, Believe just woke up and cried. Dean heard it and he just stood there, let Believe cried and let Nicole hugged him.

After that evening ball finished, Josh and Lara back home together. Josh said thanks to Lara, "You nailed it." Lara proud of herself, too. She hid her smile that caught by Josh, "Well, don't be too greedy, my lady. It is just your first day." Both of them were laughing, "Did you enjoy your night, Lara?"

Lara answered, "Yes, this is fun." Josh kissed her hands. "Josh, it's actually really fun."

Josh replied, "I know."

Lara continue, "I want back to work, again." She said.

Josh looked into Lara, "What kind of work?"

Lara answered, "Like my old job. Event Organizer. I could arrange a big party. I know some great connections and..."

Josh just said, "But, sugar, we agreed that it was me who will be the backbone of family. You don't need to work. I don't want to let you work hard, you know?" He's trying to be sweet to her. He's trying to kiss her.

Lara stopped him and said, "It looks kind of hobby than a job. Wouldn't be so hard."

Josh answered, "Well, what if I say no?" He showed how serious he meant that answer.

Lara surprised, "What, Josh?"

Josh explained, "I mean what you can do is things like this night. Be my partner. It's fun as you said."

Lara asked, "You mean be like your business partner?"

Josh said, "Business partner, well, I didn't mean that," Lara seemed confused, "Be my wife," Josh smiled, "Like tonight. Be my smart wife."

Lara questioned his words, "Your smart wife? What is that suppose to mean? A pawn for all of your business partners?"

Josh said, "What, no, no, no. That's not what I meant. Not even close."

Lara replied, "I go to your business party because I want to go, not because you make me go. I went to party tonight for having some fun. I'm sick for not doing anything at home. I know you're an important person, I can't go to any local bars or night club. I don't know, Josh." Lara stopped talking.

Josh asked, "What is it, Lara? Tell me."

Lara looked into Josh, "I'm hurt. If you say no, I'm getting hurt." She turned her face to the window.

Josh called her, "Lara?" But Lara didn't say anything. "I am sorry if that hurts you. Please, Lara?" Lara then look back to him, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that." His hand touched her face, "But I need you take rest. You know, " He looked to Lara's tummy, "For our child," Josh concerned about Lara's pregnancy, "I care about your condition."

Lara  suddenly just turned her face back to window, "That's it. You always know how to win a conversation, don't you?"

Josh's hand came to Lara's neck, "I don't want take a fight with you, sugar."

Lara replied, " I do."

Josh laughed, "I was thinking you just really want us to go on fight. I was right." He also let off his hand from Lara, "Okay, do whatever you want."

Lara said, "I want you to let me..."

Josh shouted, "I won't let you!" Lara shocked and she looked at Josh, he's still mad, "If you want a job, fine! But, not this time! I'm worry about you!"

Lara shouted, "I am fine!"

Josh replied, "You know exactly why it's not the right time, Lara. Don't be stubborn. What's the matter with you?"

Lara got angry, "I hate this!" She showed her hate facial to Josh and she pointed all of Josh.

Josh asked, "You hate me?"

Lara stop talking. Josh kept stare at Lara. He didn't say anything, "I hate... all of this, you..."

Josh seemed laid down his head a minute, "Okay, I know. I'm sorry."

Lara replied, "Know what?"

Josh answered."You think I'm an asshote, tonight. I'm sorry." He back his face look to Lara and smiled at her.

Lara shouted, "No! You are a control freak, right now! Don't smile at me!" Lara looked another way.

Josh replied, "Now, you said it!"

Lara looked back at Josh, "I hate that! I want you to hate that too, can you?" She asked.

Josh explained, "Yes, I hate that control freak Josh. I assure you he's just so freak about how to handle his wife and now, he's sorry. I'm sorry, Lara. I just love you so much, I love you carry my child, and I thought I knew what's best for you, and I'm trying to be good. I want to be good!" He shouted.

Lara didn't replied that right away. Josh seemed change. Lara scared, then she replied, "Gosh, I'm so sorry, too." Lara started to cry and hugged Josh, "I think it's the hormone."

Josh also shaken, "Oh my! I thought it was all real. I was scared, I thought you're really, really mad at me. I'm sorry, Lara. I'm really sorry. Do I make you sad?" He hugged her so tight. Josh suddenly back to himself.

Lara answered, "No. You're right. What's best for me. I'm sorry, I think I just want to screw with you. To hate you."

Josh kissed Lara, "Hate me?" Lara smiled to him, "Well, I still love you, no matter what." Josh kissed her again, "Madly in love with you."

Lara replied, "I'm sorry. I won't ask you those silly things, again."

Josh said, "We can talk about your job, anything. If that's fine for you. We can talk about it, whatever you need."

Lara said, "I know." She cried on his arms, "I'm sorry."

Josh suddenly shouted, "Just don't leave me. Don't leave me." That surprised Lara.

Lara whispered, "I won't."

That's their first time fighting.

On the dawn, Lara and Josh were on bed, also Dean with Nicole on their bed. But, Lara just woke up, got up from bed, she walked to the veranda. She looked down as the wind blew all her hair. The exact time, Believe woke up and she cried. Dean woke up and found Nicole didn't get up. So, he walked to Believe's crib and he put her up to his arms. He's trying to calm her and Believe got back to sleep. Dean smiled to Believe who's already asleep, and he whispered to her, "What we will do, now?"

And Lara, who's looking down to the ground from the veranda, said to herself, "Be brave."



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