Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

A Draft: Malig ne de chance

Peter Aaron was a mess. He tried to do great job on that magazine, without July. He's gone mad. He even went back to his psychiatrist. Name Michael. Michael was a professor of pcychology, and Peter used to be his really best experience he ever had. Peter always telling truth to Michael, which means Michael knew about Peter dirty habits.

Michael asked one thing: "Is he the one, Peter? Why?"

And, Peter answered, "She's different. She seems like me. But, she's not me. I mean, when I see her, she is me. She is me. She has everything that I have. But, she's different. She's different. And, I think, she knows me but she said she didn't know me. The whole me. She's not realize that she knows me. Because, she is me. And, that makes me feel I can't make her with someone else. She's mine. I'm mine. She's mine."

Then, what Michael said: "She doesn't know that you're here with me. Telling the truth."

And the conclusion was, "Do you think, I should tell her the truth?"
Michael answered, "Everything."

July was actually happy. And with Lincoln and Louis. Because July knew she's no longer relationship with Peter, she told Louis that she broke up with Peter. Louis made a move. So, they both dating. It was a great time in Germany. Sometimes they both fight, but things seem in the end became funny. Until, there's one night, they fought. It's about rubbish but makes July cried in a public. Louis made her calm and July forgave Louis. They chatted to work out about the problem, and they're being good each other. They're laughing again. Louis wants to go to toilet, and he went. July was with Lincoln, that suddenly, Lincoln barked and ran. July ran follow Lincoln, they went to the back of restaurant. Louis was knocked down and bleeding. They went to hospital.

Louis didn't know anything. He just got punched from his back and he already like a man being crashed by a car. July was so happy he's alive. Louis then realized something that broken in his pocket. July checked it and it's actually an engagement ring, "Marry me?"
"Oui." July cried.
So, it happened. That's still a great day.
From far, Peter was the most suffered.

July went to her apartment, and she found a rose. She knew it's from Peter. She went out from the building, walk with Lincoln. She brought Lincoln to this friend of her, she walked alone. She went to this local grocery store. She buy hot cappucino and sit on the table, then she wrote something on that paper. She went to the toilet with her bag. She never return. Peter was from far away came to the shop, and he found the paper written: "If you see this, go to the bridge and canal."
Peter went there and she was there, cold.
"Are you cold?"
"Yes."
"I thought it's weird."
"You're weird. You're stalking me rather come to my front door and bell a ring."
"I just, you know, it's just a night. I'll back this late plane."
"How do you know my place?"
"I ask the company. Your friends, like that."
"But still, you're a stalker."
"How are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Good."
"Actually, there's something that I really want to talk with you. But, I don't have any confidence. So, I just put a flower."
"What is it?"
"I...Our last time conversation. That, you, you didn't know me. But, the truth, the truth is you do really know me."
"Our last...time?"
"Do you remember? You said you don't know me, that's why you don't know if you can love me. But, the truth is you know me. You know me the first time you came to me, first. After, I made you be true to Jesse. Or, Jesse finally be true for himself to you, and you came to be, you said you want to be my friend. And, we get along together. I don't know how I've been dragged into you, speechless, but you seem know me. And, then you said you don't know me. But, you do. And, why? Because, you're afraid to see yourself in me."
"You, talk to much, Peter."
"Yes."
"No, that's funny."
"Why you come on this day, Peter? Today, I..."
July didn't want to tell about her engagement with Louis. Because, the ring was broken, she didn't wear it.
"What?"
'I, I was very busy. And, you have to go this morning. I just thought, we can spend more times, more nights."
July came near to Peter.
"My friend told me about you with someone."
"I'm.. yes. But, it doesn't mean we can't talk, right?"
It was almost a kiss, but then July walk first, "Let's walk."
"Can I hold your hand? At least? I want to know if it's really you."
"Sure, Peter."

So, they're holding hands. They chatted and stuffs.
"Germany is really lots of great  meals at night."
"You bet."
"It's still, you didn't answer my question."
"What question?"
"I love you. I know you with someone. Is he better than me? Did he know about the real you?"
"What is it then the real me?"
"The real things that you see in me. The weird ones. The awkward ones."
"The weird. I don't see anything of you that's weird, Peter."
"Don't lie to me. Don't lie to yourself."
"Well, if you tell those things, it means words are for me but also for you, too."
"Yes."
"Then, what is it?"
"Well... we are the same. We love ourselves. We used to be alone. We're in love so  much with someone, we're desperate romantic. We're impulsive."
"Impulsive?"
"Secretly, yes. You just do it in front of me. And, when suddenly do random things to show the real you. And, we're a mad person."
"Mad?"
"We're possesive. We linger with someone so important to us even though they might not really in our heart. We just want him to see us. But turns out, we want more than that. And, we need more, and more, and more, until you think you can't help control yourself."
"To stalk them."
"Yes."
"Why do you think you also have that?"
"The moment I love you, I can't stop to do that. I keep seeing you in my head, my moments just stop because you're not there. And, when you were still with Jesse, just look at you from far, makes me more, and more, and more. Even though I can't really in love with you. Because, we're friends. And, Jesse is my friend."
"Jesse is not here, anymore."
"I see you the whole you, the true of you."
"And how can you handle that?"
"The different of you."
"The different of me?"
"The way you afraid of me. You know that, too, right?"
July went silent. She saw the clock, "It's time to go to bed."
"I can walk you home."
July didn't say no, so they go home.
In front of the house, "I actually alone. Lincoln is with someone of my friend. I always thought if you come, you'll take him."
Peter smiled, "I never meant it."
"Good. Peter?"
"Yes?"
"I lied to you."
"About what?"
"I quit from the last time job that I need a fresh air. I lied. The truth, I came here because of Louis."
"Louis?"
"He's my boyfriend, now. No, and to be true, we're engaged, tonight."
Peter didn't respond. He just kept listening.
"He cares me. And, he's grown up with me and Jesse. I see Jesse in him."
"Congratulation, July."
"Thank you."
"I guess, I better gone, now."
"I still like you, Peter. And, our this, moment. I guess it's true."
"What's true?"
"I'm afraid if people see the real me. You see the real me. And, the most frightening was I knew the real you. And, that's the real me."
July kiss Peter, right away.

"I don't know, why I feel..."
"What do you feel?"
"Be real."

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