Lost Sight, Found Strength

The path is so dark and dim, but Julie keeps walking. She is scared, yet her adrenaline makes her look back several times, urging her to walk faster with each step. She wonders why she can't move faster and then realizes it's just her thoughts getting wilder the longer she's on the road. She shouldn't have chosen this path—terrified and confused. She's already halfway through. It sucks. The only way is to adapt, over time. She has one more block, two more, and again she convinces herself it's just one more step to her destination. She's no longer afraid when she starts looking at the sky instead of the road. The evening feels scarier when it's right in front of our eyes, but when it's above, the stars are beautiful. The cold air on her skin feels warmer as her mind grows calmer. Gently, she realizes that she's no longer worried. In fact, she's arrived, in no time. -- I think loneliness comes from the mind. It's not about being surrounded ...
Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

A Draft: Protege Moi

Peter Aaron fishing near the lake,
"You know why I always remember you? Smell of the oranges from the other side of lake. The yard. You there and we pick stolen oranges."

There' no one there except Peter Aaron.


July Bones was a character so worried about everything. She met Peter Aaron as someone she met on the workplace, he's a lawyer while July was assistant from editor magazine. Peter was new of that office. July saw Peter as the most handsome person in the office. But, she used to love great music in town and Peter, from L.A. seems love bar. They met together and July was really different. July loves night club, she wears best things from her editor, but it was secretly, it's kind of lend and return with nothing changes. Peter knew the dress because he was there in the day when the editor asked July to take care of the dress carefully.

Because Peter found July Bones so pretty that night, he kept it secretly. Tomorrow morning, Peter found the dress so beauty in wrapped like nothing's happen. The more best was he found July seems un-notice him, so different from last night, July as a caught-convict, scared, and full of talks. She turns silence and stuff, not even recognize Peter.

Peter came to her desk and chatted. People around them, especially girls like so jealous. But, what July did was take a note and looks exactly so calm, Peter tried to ask several things but July wasn't interest. Until, he asked July for going to this night club. And, that's when July suddenly speak,
"Yeah, I can go. I will talk to Jesse." Now, everyone knew about the night club.

On the evening night, Peter expected July and July wore a great dress, but black. He asking about if the dress was not her but July said, "It's mine. You see me in black? that's mine." July said she never wants anything than wear those beautiful dress for just one night. Peter asking if July use it to seduce men, but July just laughed saying, "You're not serious." A bartender asking, "Is this man bothering you, Bones?" Peter said, "I'm her lawyer." July said to the bartender, "He's my lawyer."

July asking about lawyer's life and Peter telling the story of him. Like, it was a magical night. "Aren't you bored?" July replied, "You want to know my story?" July told the story of just the editor, Mr Jesse O'Jay, perfectly american-african man, so firm and gorgeous. July said he still not marry because the relationship between her and him perfectly suit and full of jealousy, like so much pressure. "He didn't love me, but he can't live without me. Who am I? Her mama?" Peter asking if Jesse is actually a possesive man, "He might really love you but ever you rejecting him?"
July answered, "I couldn't tell a lie to my lawyer, but I never reject him. Ever."
Peter asking, "I'm single."
July said, "We just met for a week."
Peter said, "Love at the first sight?"
July answered, "I disagree. LA man never trust a woman at night club."
Peter asked, "How do you know?"
July said, "Well, I don't know. My own-made joke about night club. Jesse never came here, that's what I know. He must be with simply nice girls around."
Peter said, "You jealous, you're a lonely dreamy girl."
July Bones laughed like , "Are you a shrink?"
Peter answered, "Lawyer, it's our job to know exactly the client's personality."

July walked out from Peter and wait for a cab, but Peter asked her a lift. 
July asking Peter if they could road through a significant road, turns out, July love one-sided truly to Jesse, "He has a dog named Lincoln. I used to feed him while he on business trip."
Peter asking, "How?"
July said, "He gave me the key."
Peter asking, "You can duplicate his keys."
July answered, "Yes. I did. But, I always throw them. And when he gone to business trip, again I'll ask him about his keys."
Peter asking "Why?"
July said, "I once was realize I really like him, when I found his second engagement turn down because of me. And he perfectly on my side. Then, I thought he might love me. People also thought so, but, things turn just normal, no code or signal, he absolutely no interest on me. But, you know, I never want to be like detective or something. I'll just stop thinking about it and work as professional. So, yeah, I have this little secret. After that time, I can't stop thinking about him. That's how I end up being so alone, do bad things, you caught me, officer, and I'll be damned obsessed if I got his keys on my purse every day. I throw them all away."
"You need go to a shrink."
"Or a new job."

That suddenly, July showed what building apartment Jesse lives, turns out, a dog barked, as the car being slowly moving and July just open the window, "July?" Jesse was walking with Lincoln.
"I'll be damned." July asked Peter stop the car and she loved to go out from his car. Peter won't allow it. He locked the door, so Jesse came to the window, "Hey, July. Peter Aaron?"
"Hi, Jesse."
"We're just hang out, you know. On that night club."
"Yeah, yeah. People talk about it. You two date, right?"
"Well, kind of." said July. Peter just smiled. "It's been late. Why you walking with Lincoln?"
"Lincoln keeps me awake, this night, very odd, right?"
"Yeah, odd. What is it, Lincoln?" July talked to the dog and the dog barking.
"He likes you a lot." said Jesse.
"Yeah, he's nice."
"You look nice, too, July. I like your perfume."
"Orange." Suddenly Peter interrupted.
"Yeah, it's Orange perfume."
"Coco Mademoissele." said Peter.
the worst part was it was the perfume Jesse gave to her about years ago, the first time they're as a team. July was so embarrassed, but Jesse smiled, "See you guys in the morning."
"Good bye, Lincoln. Jesse." July closed the window
"Why you can't be quiet?" 
"Your perfume was a great perfume. You have a great taste, July."

That day turned to be different as Peter, the LA boy so bravely did the first move to July. July just sit on the chair and want to say thank you that suddenly Peter embraced her neck. So, right away, July gave her cheek to be kissed. Peter thought he could get July's head turn around and kiss her, but turns out, different. July was wondering but Peter made the door unlocked, July suddenly went out from the car. Shut the door, saying, "Thank you." Peter was giggled then goodbye her. 

Next week, Peter Aaron got birthday, nobody actually knew about him, because he's not actually a magazine person, he just did some confidential works with intellectual property and copyrights, but people knew it's his birthday. Also, July. A week, everyone knew July and Peter getting know each other. That day, July made a birthday surprise, everyone was happy, also Peter, again, kiss on the cheek from him to her, but suddenly July's gone. Peter searched her but she's gone. He came to her empty desk when people seems not bothered. Peter remembered Jesse went to business trip. July was in Jesse's place, feed Lincoln on time for dinner. A bell rang, July was surprised by Peter came.
"We not use to get a visitor."
"You'll stay here?"
"Yeah."
"I hate him."
Peter never leaves July, found that July only eating a fast-food salad. "Do you know July if Jesse actually pack vegetables and fish, you should cook."
Peter cook her a meal, not a bark against him to make a dirty work on kitchen from Lincoln. Turns out the meal was really good. 
"This is the best cook made by the birthday man."
"You made a surprise party for me, I guess we're even."
"No. It's everyone plan. You seem a mysterious man around the office, while most of us, include me, always do crazy stuffs. Shouting doors, barking desks, crying, screaming, world of art, you know."
"Great to know."
"I mean, I'm still not give you any official present."
"Well."
"You know, I can give you a chance to dance."
"Dance?"
"Me and Lincoln, we used, I used to sleep on the couch, listening all of Jesse collections."
July showed the collection on the living room.
"Well, what do you want to give me as a birthday gift, Miss Bones?"
"Do you love The Beatles?"

So, July did play the The Beatles, and the first track was Across The Universe and Something.
"Shall we dance?" and they both dancing when Lincoln seem enjoyed with what he sees.
July saw how great this man in front of her, Peter Aaron. 
"Are you afraid?" asked Peter.
"I don't know."
"Kiss me, then."
"I want... Jesse."
That's how it ends, July drove herself away from Peter and Lincoln barked.
"I'm sorry." said July. July get her coat and walk out from the apartment, and Jesse was there. Orange flowers and a sack of orange fruit. "Jesse?"
And, Peter Aaron behind her.
Jesse knew, think that July and Peter were together, but July said, "I'm done feeding Lincoln. Peter was pick me up, we're about to go but doesn't mean we're together."
Jesse smiled, "Hi, Peter. You came to my place?"
"Yes, July seems really lonely."

From outside, they heard And I Love Her  song. 
"July played the song for Lincoln." said Peter.
"You really want to go, July?" asked Jesse.
"What?"
"I, brought you oranges, you see? I thought you would love it."
"I thought you'll come tomorrow night."
"Yes, but it's actually just a meeting. an hour meeting. A jet plane made me fast. To return." Jesse look at Peter, "Because I thought you might be lonely tonight."
"Me and July would love to leave since the owner of the landlord has return," said Peter, he came to July, when July seems in frozen. Because of what Jesse just said.
"Please, don't leave." Jesse asked.
"I won't." July spoke. "I guess, Peter, I think I'll stay for a while."
"I'll drive her home." said Jesse.
Peter was in this can't believe motion but he said, "Sure."

Peter walked away from them both, slightly turned around when they both not see it, he heard the conversation a bit,
"Is it okay for Peter?"
"We're actually not dating, me and him."
"Well, I just thought, I mean," both of them were laughed. July opened the door for Jesse and they both heard Lincoln barking, they seem a really great couple. 
Inside of Peter Aaron, he mad.
He smelled his hand that so touched the perfume July's had.
He saw the window apartment above there before he went away with his car, a light turns darker.

An ambitious Peter Aaron, a man who really wants a woman for himself. A bad jealousy.

In the next day, Peter found a birthday present from July Bones. It was a black expensive pen. Peter did use it always. July saw it, it was the best thing, she actually thank Peter because of him, her finally wish to be with Jesse came true.
For a week, Peter and July met in the office, chat and stuff, nothing about Jesse. July wants to be friends with Peter while Peter thought he might get a chance.
Until, there's a morning, Peter put a red rose on her desk. Also a message:
Your secret admirer.
Would you give me another chance to dance?
July was surprised. The smell of the rose is new for her. Everyone talks about it, Jesse was not in town that day.
When July went home, Peter gives him a lift. July said, "I can't Peter. I know, I'm sorry. You're a good man. I'll just, you know, I'll just take the cab."
Peter didn't give up, he just waited July in front of her place.
"What do you want?"
"I, I want you."
July was in shocked. "Oh, please, clever boy. You knew I'm with Jesse."
"I know. But I know, too, that night, you felt something."
"Stop it, Peter. Just go home. We're friends, aren't we?"
"Just friends? I want more."
"There's nothing more to say. If you don't want be friends. Let then be no friend, anymore."
"Alright, then."
"Yes, alright."

Peter back to his car and he full of angry. He didn't know what to do. What is it about July Bones?
He decided to leave the town, he was mad in love, and first time being rejected. He couldn't take it anymore, until July knocks his car window so hard, "Oh God, please take me to the airport! Please!"
She kept crying like so worried. When they arrived, so many people also cried. Peter realized, Jesse's plane was lost. It's a business trip to china.
And, July passed out. Peter took her to hospital. Jesse relatives came by and tell the most loss ever. July seemed lost her way, she shut the world. She said, "I quit."
Peter Aaron, never stop accompany her. That actually, July Bones doesn't have any relatives in town. Even so, there's her cousin, William Bones, he's a musician, a violist in Italy. Peter Aaron checked her letters and emails back to home. Peter Aaron also got an email, and that's how Peter realized, he showed it to July.
It was from Jesse to take care of Lincoln. July was crying and she hugged Peter
"Oh, Peter. What can I do without you?"
Peter helped July got a right to have Lincoln for her.
The family was thought, "All this time, we never know that Lincoln is really precious to him. It was a gift from his passed away father, now, it shall be to you, the one who truly love him."

Peter Aaron took care of July and Lincoln. But, still July was in this silent mode, can't do nothing for his memories always be there with her. Until, she got a dream. This time, Peter was awake that he sat on the chair next to her bed. July look at him, she didn't asleep.
"I dream about you, Peter."
"What?"
"We're growing old together and you keep holding my hands. Such a great time to find you as a man of my life."
"Is it a good dream?"
"Yes. Jesse was not there."
Then July took his hand and embrace it while she's asleep. That night, Peter was sleeping and hug July so tight, just that. And, for the first time, July trusts Peter.

It was the evening night. July wore a great gown at the night club, no black. She drank alone.
And there's this man.
"Are you lonely, Miss?" 
A great gentleman. July was drunk. So she did what she seems love to do. They danced on the dance floor, she seemed not worry of Lincoln at home. The man kissed her and touch her on the dance floor, she didn't care. Until, July was so drunk, she passed out.
The man brought July out from the night club, she's so beautiful and yet, the man just put a phone number on her jacket, and kissed her good night, that awakes her.
"You need a cab, madam?"
"Madam? Do I know you?"
"No, actually. But, I will help you get  a cab."
"Well, thank you. I think I was too much drunk and pass out."
"I hope you'll get better."
"Thank you."
July got in to the cab and asleep.

The man was so happy. He walked to his car, and then there's Peter, 
"You son of damn!" He punched that man face.
They're fighting but the man keeps struggling. He was so scared if he died, so he ran away. But, Peter just so easy back jump at that man, then the man begging, "I do no wrong! Please!"
One last punch, the man no longer beg, he hardly breathing. Peter was taking breath so hard, too. But, he seems satisfied, "You keep saying you do no wrong. You wrong! You insult my girl."
Then, the man gone.

In the morning, July was at work of new magazine, she works for a good company and she assists the older Prada Devil woman. She is in this challenge. Later, July want to take a cab and Peter gave a lift. She got in and she surprised, "Are you alright, darling?"
Peter smiled, "I'm alright."
When they on the road, July storytelling this kind young man who helped her out from the night club and when he could do something wrong, he simply called a cab and let her home alone.
"I'm being jealous."
"He left me a phone number."
Peter smile was gone. The body could be found with the phone. He's worried.
"Are you alright, Peter?"
"Yes. Will you call him, then?"
"I don't know."
"Why?"
"Because I am in relationship with you. I don't care about anything else. But, I care about you." July kissed him, so bravely. Peter seems winning. Then, they both drive through on this fast food place. July was sit next to Peter and Peter order the food, they're waiting with chat. When, it's about to pick the order, July took the order and found the man behind the cashier.
"Louis?"
"July?"
"It's nice to see you, again."
"Hi, oh my, how long we've not met? Five years?"
"Twenty?"
"Dear, so long."
"You with your husband?"
Louis, so skinny but great face like a model. He smiled to Peter. Peter also smiled.
"No, not husband. But, we're together."
"Awesome.Here's your order."
"Thank you, Louis."
"Have a nice day, then."
"Wait, can I get your number? We can hang out tonight?"
"Oh, yeah. Sure."
Louis gave the number to her and last time Louis said, "Good day."
Peter asking who's he.
"Louis Pole, He's from architecture major. I don't know why he's now a cashier for the fast food? He might be in trouble. He was a poet boy, we met on drama class at university. We were in love one night of the snow. So great time."
"So, he's your ex-boyfriend."
"No, no. He's a good friend, we never stop to be together that time. He also knew Jesse and Jesse family."
"He seems really close."
"Yeah, Jesse thought we're once together. The same thing like me and Louis."
"Great thing."
"Can't wait to talk with him tonight."
While July seems busy with her phone and the phone number Louis gave to her, Peter look to the road and felt, jealous.

Louis Pole was there on the day remembering Jesse Smith. July was there with Peter but July was so busy to be with Jesse's family. Peter being introduced. They seems not fine with Peter who took away Lincoln from them, even though July still a good relationship with them. Louis, he became a waitress. July was worried when Louis seems looking from far the picture of beloved July. So, Peter saw them both, looking at Jesse picture, with different suits degree.
"Isn't he a great man?" Asked Louis.
"Aren't you used to be a great man, too?"
"I'm still. I just never want anything from this full intricts social. Do you know right, I'm still an architect?"
"I did not know."
"I have the company on Germany."
"What? That Soreleí Company? You did it, aye?"
"I never want to be recognized. See my tag name? As a waitress?"
"Rufus. Yeah, are you sure it's just me that recognize you here?"
"Your man, also count."
"But why?"
"I came just for you and our beloved Jesse. Remember about when we three run to this orange garden, to see how you beautifully making orange juice, illegally."
"I remember your camera."
"I still keep it the photos."
"Oh, Louis. Why you here? I cry again."
"You should be strong!"
Then they were hugging, Peter was so mad, he suddenly just break the little glass of shot in the bar. The bartender was worried. Peter said it's fine. But, Peter hides his beautiful clean cut on one his palm hand.
He went to toilet to clean it. When he out from the toilet, Louis came in like they met in front of the door. Louis didn't see him, but Peter also just being cold like he never want to talk with him. Peter searches July and July was sitting on this couch. He sat next to her and holding her hand.
"You're bleeding." July saw the blood there. She made a scene that she asked someone to get a bandage. When Louis arrived, he saw how Peter being taken care. He didn't came back, he's leaving the place.



(So this is basically the way we see July Bones pretty much a person who tried to control herself being obsessed with Jesse. In my head, the pictures were how July is actually kind of creepy girl. And, Peter was there, learning her. We found how Peter seems really quiet but as a LA man, he also define himself as July looks fine for him with all of her weirdos. Jesse was a quiet man. Then, he's the mood changer of the story. In the center, he revealed himself also mad in love with July. Well, I didn't put lots of it on the draft, but facing the truth that Jesse turn off his engagement twice, that definitely something. When Peter realized Jesse as same mad as July and they're fell in love, he seems worthless. He wished for a second chance. And, turns out to be wrong second chance. We thought our Peter is actually a good man. As a newbie in town, we thought that the town itself was so creepy and stuff. But, Peter is actually the one who had the mindset of obsessed with July. July looks turn to be easy girl, jump and jump with other man at night. Because, all she wants is Jesse, no one else. And, Peter is not Jesse. Even though, July seems happy to say 'together' with Peter. But, then, the ending. The truth of Peter Aaron. I do really love to continue this story. Peter Aaron's back story, why he's a gorgeous success man, smart lawyer, from LA to the town of July Bones?)

Louis was trying to make things right. About what happened to his good mate Jesse. Jesse was a great dedicated person and his gone by the airplane was so a huge loss. Louis was the one who brought Jesse to the airport one last time before Jesse got into the plane. Louis could just stop Jesse to not go. Their last conversation was talking about Jesse finally be honest to July about his true feeling. Louis, on the other hand, is also the whole reason why Jesse never ask July out. Louis loves July ever since their first met in university. But, July likes Jesse. So, that's how things happened. Finding Jesse was gone, Louis knew how big loss July must be. But, when Louis came to see the truth, there's Peter, the stranger, Jesse never told. Which is kind of more strange.
"Did July ever love Jesse? Why she seemed move on so fast?"
Kind of that thing. But, the true, July still loves Jesse. She just knew Peter also loves her as much as Jesse, so she embraced that love. But, she doesn't know there's Louis, who always love her from the first time.
What Peter knows is Louis is not a rich person. What July knows, Louis is extremely reach, he's the owner of big construction company out there. But, that gap seems so #cheesy. But, anyway, Peter did everything so July-Louis time got disturb.
July went to bowling with Louis, and there's Peter made a scene.
July went to catwalk with Louis, and there's Peter made a scene.
July went to groceries with Peter, Louis called, later something wrong with July's phone.
July went to a bar alone, Peter makes sure Louis not there, secretly.
Until, there's a time Peter was kind of miss. It was the day July herself driving home and she never forgot to just look Louis work on that drive through. Louis never knew, Peter also not know. What July really worry about was the way Louis never show his interest to Peter.
So, at work, on this daily morning work time, Peter was in the meeting room. July just using Jesse email, she knew everything about Jesse, so including his night girls stuff, but it never made July stop loving him. Well, July chatted with Louis.
"Are you in work?"
"Today I'm sick."
"What? Should I come? How is it?"
"I lied. I'm on the workplace, actually. I'll be gone next two days."
"Why you keep work here when you actually work there?"
"Idk. I think I just want to know I'm near with you."
"Louis, you don't need to be near me."
"Are you happy in that place?"
"I'm happy. There's also Peter, here."
"Are you really want that job because of Peter?"
"Yes."
"You lied. You're being tortured. To see that room and chair was not even Jesse."
"Why you do this, Louis?"
"You're a really good partner, with your experience with Jesse, my company totally want to take you."
"Really?"
"I offer you a job, here. A real job. A critic."
"Oh, my. Are you sure?"
"Yes."

And, that's happen. It was the worst news ever from Peter Aaron. Everyone was so happy in the office and Peter couldn't do anything except also faking happy.
Everyone believes it's really better to let go July away. Peter still doesn't know about Louis is in that company July's in. So, what Peter really do is
"I can go with you to that country. I can learn."
"What? There's no such thing, Peter. I'll be better."
"Are you dragging me away, July?"

July was so feeling something and say, "I think you in too much pressure with me. I think, we should have some space, Peter. I don't like you for always think I'm making you drag away. I'm not. But, maybe we should really give ourselves some time."

That burned Peter so much. And, his different just blew up, he talked really fast.
"No. No. NO. I don't want to give ourselves some space? No. No. NO. I think it's stupid. We're on relationship. Relationship should be like seeing each other everyday. Be for someone everyday. I want to be with you. Not seeing you is haunting me. I thought it will be wrong. Suddenly, what? You find someone else out there while I'm here all alone. Yeah, that's how you really drag me away from you. But, I can't give you that chance. I want to show you I'm here for you. I really do love you. No matter how much we're truly in differences, but I'm here for you. No matter what. I want to be with you. If that's how I can have you, I'll do anything. Anything. Even if I should lose my job. I will get a new job. I don't care. It's so stupid. Relationship means stay with someone. I don't want to show you a long distance relationship and then things fallen apart. I don't want to see you suffer because you will think I might gone one hell night with someone. No. NO. I'm here. Right, now. For you. Please, don't drag me away. Don't drag me away. I don't need some space. You showed me how to stay for someone. I learn that. I want to be like that."

Then, July was stopping his mouth, kiss him, and Peter stop talk. July then said, "I'm scared, Peter."
Peter was in shocked, "You're scared with me?"
"Yes."
"What is it? What is that you afraid of..."
"I'm scared. Because, I never actually can fall in love with someone that I never truly know who he is, exactly. Who is this man, in front of me?"
Peter went silent.
"I don't know you. We're just met and you're really kind to me. I can see how sometimes you're being different, but you are Peter Aaron. A handsome perfect LA lawyer, that you need someone better, than this hopeless woman that just lost her love of her life. That maybe, maybe she still thinks no one could replace that lost. Give me some time, Peter."
"July, I can't. I can't. Are you saying you don't love me?"
"I...I don't know, now."
July needs to go because she's already being called by the cab out from her place,
"I've got to go. I guess this is it."
"Don't you dare turn away from me. No one do that. No one. In a very long time."
July actually really surprise heard the words.
"Are you saying, we're break up, July?"
"Do you want us to break up? Do you want this situation to be it?"
"Yes. If you go away from that door, yes, that's what it meant."
"Then, well. Suit yourself."
"How about what I've done to you about Lincoln."
"Lincoln, he's with me."
"I made it to be yours. You have that choice. Or, I can take him away from you."
"What?"
"Yes, if you walk away."
"I will walk away."
July stood up of herself. Peter went silent.
"I will walk away. I will turn away from you. I will walk through the door and go. I'm going to be so stupid with my decision. You can also take Lincoln from me, if you want. If that's what you want. I'm okay. This is my decision. This is the only right thing to do that I think, right now. I'm not even cry if you just said this moment might our break up. I'm always alone. I'm fine. You won't make things any better in my life."
July waits for Peter reaction.
"I will always be alone and I'm fine."
Peter wants to come to her, hug her so bad. But, July just turn away, "Goodbye, Peter."
Peter knew it's his chance to grab her from back and put her knock down. But, a cab driver just open the door.
"Miss, we're really late from our schedule to arrive to the plane."
Peter just almost showing his handkerchief with this something in it to make July knock down. The cab driver actually saw the hand gesture but didn't see the handkerchief.

July then turn around to see Peter, one last time,
"I've gotta go, Peter."
Peter was so afraid with that cab driver look to his hidden hand so he said, "Yes, sure."
July smiled and she went off with the cab driver.
Peter didn't do anything until he heard the cab was gone. He smacked all the things inside of that apartment, what's left. He's angry.

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