Do you know why it's hard to say goodbye? Because we afraid if our memories might not be able to remember them, rightly. The fact is, goodbye means good. No matter how hard.
~Aurora Esterlia

Breakfast Tea

Last time. I couldn't get asleep. I was walking through the whole streets around the city. I never thought this time, it failed to get me exhausted. This insomnia. I was just buying many snacks while waiting the morning in McD. God blessed 24 hours fast food restaurant. I got out of the place and arrived at my apartment, 6 AM. In the morning. There, I slept.
I woke up again last night, at 6 PM. I tried to clean all things. I got a headache. I just walked out to the pharmacy. This girl asked me if she could be the help for tonight, and I said I was sick. So, she gave me the migraine medicine. I drank it, there I just suddenly fell asleep again. Until, now. I was hungry, at 5 AM, just walked through the street look for something to eat.

"You found me at this cafe." She smiled.
"Yes. Well, I believe that's all I can say about me." suddenly the waitress just came with our both plates. 
"Three French Toast with bacons, and Chicken Salads." said the waitress, "Do you want to refill the coffee?" She asked me.
"Yes, sure." I said. She filled the cup and leaving. "I'm sociopath."
"You are? What kind of sociopath?" She asked.
"I have this addiction and still, now. I am always being attractive in front of the girls, there the girls want to help me with the addiciton."
"Are you proposing me?" 
"I do." I smiled. I started to eat the bacon, first. "What are you saying?"
"No. Sorry." She started to eat her salad, too. "Look, I'm engaged." She showed me the ring.
"He must be rich."
"Yes. And, well, I agree you're kind of attractive. Just like him." She smiled again. "So, you mean, you're kind of this Zydrate Anatomy, Repo: The Genetic Opera."
"What kind of opera?"
"Adult stuffs." She giggled, " I know what this is about. I also had the same experience like you. I think everyone has one time for that experience. Or even one day." She looked at me.
"I have met this girl. She was so good in conversation and I spend my first night with her without doing it. I thought she's the one. And... This agony, failed that thought." 
"So you think you can pick the right person for you just because one night with her without doing it, great spirit, Sir. I used to meet this random guy at the station and he looked at me. He seemed attractive and he flirted me with his simple smiling. At the end, I should go off the train, he stood up, chasing me. I just ran to the toilet before he found me. With the crowd around him, he looked so depressful by not get me. He just back to the downstairs to get the train, and it's me, who started stalking him." She laughed.
"You're sociopath!" I laughed too.
"See, do not think you're the only one." She drank her vanilla tea. "It smells good." She said.
"Is your fiance really an asshole? You are so pretty."
"I could tell he was just like you. I think commitment is not his thing."
"Yeah, I don't like for being trapped."
"I do." She replied. 
"What is that mean?" 
"I'm talking about I want to wake up everyday, knowing that there's a man always by my side. Might is cheating on me, but he will feel guilty because of me. So he just tell me and saying he's sorry. I might also cheat on him and just I will keep it on the secret." 
"You're genius!" I laughed again, "Seriously? That's the reason why you want for being in relationship?"
"One night stand also good. For you." She drank the tea again, "But it will break my heart, all the time."
"Being in a relationship also will break your heart everytime." I said. 
"No. Relationship is the possession of someone so she could have someone for her own. While one night stand, if that someone was me, I would end up crying because silly me to think someone I like would like me, like really likes me. Not just for one night stand, you know."
"That is sad." 
"Yes. So, how do you love this one night stand?" she asked.
"As I said. I don't think it is the relationship that I want, but I marry the addiction."
"I see." She suddenly grabbed my hand at the table, "If I touch you,just hold your hand, do you get the thrill, already?"
"You are considering my proposal." 
"I do." 
"But, you're engaged."
"You want cheating."
"I do. I found you attractive."
"But you and me. It should be a one night stand."
"You want to see me broken heart."
"Because if you still think I want to take your proposal."
"No. Why would you think I want so see that?"
"Because you are the sociopath. You find me different, never experience it. You want me."
"I want you, so what?"
"I will just hold your hands." She then put my hand to her face, "And kiss the hand." She kissed my hand. She let it go. "There, I have feeling for you."
"Do you want me?"
"Yes, I want you." She smiled. "But, what I want is the relationship. You should meet my future husband. He's wonderful, just like you. You are wonderful. Just like my future husband."
"So, if I can get you, I should get you the ring?"
"Depends. Who got my first to the altar?"
"You are funny." I laughed again. 

I finished my plate. So was she. I called the waitress and paid the bill. Also her bill. We walked out of the cafe at 7.20 AM. I walked her to the train station. 

"So, this is it." She said.
"I hope you and him get your relationship work out."
"Yes, sure. I hope you'll find the final time for settling down."
"Right." I laughed because that was the first time people saying that to me. "Are you going to stalk me?" 
"I might." She laughed. "But you might want to leave me first, so you'll never know if I'm really sneaking around you or not." 
"The man whom you met at the station, it was me." I told her.
"Yes. The way you look at me, that night, like you've been looking for me for your entire life. And you, should be my future husband." 
"I realize not even one night stand is the reason for me to fall in love with you." I hold her hand and kiss her hand. "That day you were gone, I always wondered why you're the only one who found me not attractive?"
"I told you, I'm engaged." She smiled. "I better get home, now." She said.
"Then, I'll walk you home." I hold her hand and we both walked down to the train station, together.


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